Chelan's Killer Blogspot

Summer time...

2011-07-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

Summer has its boons and its banes. I love the freedom of my schedule on the days I'm not working--the kids get up and watch cartoons, I sleep a little longer. I love this! I love the flexible way I can take both kids to get a treat, visit a pet store, or make an art project without worrying about the next meeting we have to get to or school bus drop off times. I just love the open schedule!

And yet--I'm losing structure to my days and I find myself sleeping too long in the morning, staying up too late at night, neglecting housework, starting too many projects only to watch them wait to be finished as I start another new one. I think I need structure like a baby needs a good sleep schedule. sigh.

So I shall be printing my "To Do's" and my "NOT To Do's" on paper every day. Today's gonna be a good day!

phew!!!!!!!!

2010-12-16T16:01:00.000-08:00

Thank you holiday shoppers, you nearly gave me a heart attack! As I raced down the highway today it occurred to me that I might not get home at the time I had planned.

Then it occurred to me that I was dreaming if I thought I would get home on time. I panicked. My heart began racing. I could feel the air being sucked out of my lungs like a Dementor's Kiss. Being late meant Ella would be standing at a locked front door when she got off the school bus today.

I was sure I was going to vomit on my lap. I pictured her tears, her loud wailing, her wandering the streets of Beaverton, knocking on doors until some creep lured her inside with candy laced with razor blades.

I pulled up to the house without a sign of Ella nearby. I was 13 minutes late! I unbuckled Miles and stepped into the house to be sure she wasn't inside (did I actually leave the house unlocked?). She wasn't indoors. The front door was locked.

Miles and I raced down the sidewalk to look down the street to where the bus drops her off (was it possible the bus was just as late as I was?). No sign of Ella. I yelled her name in a tone that means business. My volume is up loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear me. No response. (No one even popped their head out their front window blinds! Didn't they realize my world was crumbling apart???)

I race back into the house and grab my phone to call the school and report her missing. And here's where I won't crack a joke--I literally pictured Kyron Horman's face from all the haunting photos of him hanging in grocery stores and street lamps around town. (Would the school call 9-1-1 or would they make me do it?)

I'm sure I'm going to vomit.

My phone vibrates in my hand before I flip it open. I don't recognize the number. (I don't have time to answer this! My daughter's wandering the sex-traffic-crazed streets of Aloha!!!) I hear a woman's voice say simply, "It's Suzie next door. Ella's here. Come on over."

I nearly faint. I whisper "Thank you" and flip the phone shut, grab Miles in my arms and come to her door filled with apologies.

Suzie's first words to me? With a bemused expression she says "She is being SO funny. What a cute little girl!"

Sigh of relief. Blanket of calm lays upon me. Ella's kicked back in the recliner watching Garfield on the Cartoon Network on their plasma flatscreen TV. She's snacking on Rold Gold pretzels and Sunny Delight with a cozy fleece thrown over her lap. She doesn't even make eye contact with me. The cartoon is too important. The snacks are too delicious.

Perhaps I did something right the past couple of years when I've met neighbors (though I neglected to exchange phone numbers--something I remedied today), drilled our cell numbers into Ella's brain, and insisted she never get in a car with someone and only ask a trusted mama for help if she's lost (or in this case left uncared for).

Suzie said she said hi to Ella as she was getting the mail, noticed that our garage wasn't open for Ella to come in as usual and then Ella came knocking asking for help a minute later.

The wailing? The frantic daughter I feared? She didn't shed a tear or even have a change in heart rate.

Thank you, God.

Camera Kidnapping

2010-12-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

Someone likes to nab the camera and indiscriminately photograph the world as she knows it.

Is it interesting to see what our children see?

I'm so grateful for the way my children teach me to take joy and wonder from the simplest of moments.

2010-05-28T18:21:00.000-07:00

How can this sweet little, baby-faced boy turn into such a tyrannical, angry beast? We've turned a rather horrifying corner on our journey of parenthood this week. Apparently our roadmap was an older edition that didn't foresee the new construction which would be occurring at 3.75 years of age for Miles.

Bedtime turned into a war zone this past week. There were a couple of perfectly peaceable moments, then a few frightening engagements. I was close to waving the white flag... okay, I did... once. It was the first time I remember totally caving in and giving up with my kids. I literally told Miles he could have whatever he wanted if he just stayed in bed. Aaron was out of town, and I had come to the point of utter exasperation.

Me: Stay in bed.

Son (in sassy three year old cadence): I just don't want to.

Me: I know it's hard. Stay in bed.

Son: I hate that!

Me: Sorry. If you don't get to bed at night your immune system will be weakened and you'll get sick and die.

Son: I don't care. I'm just never going to sleep again. I love dying.

I'd already taken away everything. His precious blankies, his light saber he's accustomed to sleeping with, his drink of water, his pillow, his covers... I stopped short of stripping him naked. I had run out of any sort of valuable currency. I'd already spanked him as hard as I could, and was surprised to find that it wasn't that hard (at least in his opinion).

I literally told him I couldn't spank him anymore because I was too angry. And he kept screaming at me. I wanted to duct tape him into bed. I thought better.

My six year old daughter observed the entire encounter from the safety of her top bunk vista. It had been hours (okay, that's a lie, but it felt that way). I finally couldn't fight the tears building behind my lids. I pleaded with him. I begged. It was pathetic.

Then I saw it. A battery operated lantern within arm's reach. I grasped for it using the last stores of energy I had reserved for this final moment. I depressed the rubber button on the lantern, turning it on, and handed the peace offering to my son. His eyes moved sideways behind his slitted lids.

Finally, a truce. He calmed down, received a hug from me, and rolled over to sleep with the lantern. But what just happened? Did I win? Did I lose? Had I misinterpreted what he needed the entire time? Was he simply scared of the darkness in his room?

All I know is I cried at how hard I'd spanked him and came back in and gave him his pillow and cover after he was quiet for a few minutes. Does anyone else feel this badly after they'd done what they thought was best?

Your gentle offers of advise are appreciated.

With or Without You

2010-05-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

I'm making a commitment to create blog posts with or without pictures. I was under the impression that my writing was only valuable if there were pictures to accompany it. (Perhaps this is because I read so many picture books and magazines.) I find that I'm only making excuses to avoid writing because I fear the imperfections of my reflections being shown to others. But isn't that mostly what being human is all about? Sharing our flaws so others feel less distanced from you? Showing our own life, as authentically as possible, so others can identify with your own story (and hopefully abandon the isolation that accompanies our secrets)?

So, to begin again, here is the latest from my life.

I have a job as a caregiver for the elderly in their homes. My first client was a joy to serve. I would have done it for free. She had insights into life and living that I hadn't anticipated learning from her. She only had a few wishes for her memorial service. She wanted the following printed on her memorial program: "It Was A Wonderful Life!" She said she had children who were loving, grandchildren who were healthy and joyful, and a husband who passed years before her who she described as "sincere." She said she had no complaints. She only wished she could die sooner! She was ready to go home.

I had the privilege of singing to her with her pastor two days before she died. We sang "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" and she raised her hands, eyes closed, a beautiful smile on her face as she lay in her living room hospice bed. And now I have the privilege of singing that with her pastor at her memorial service this week. As my husband says, a death is a Holy Moment. And hers certainly was. Her death was an achievement for her. She had no fear of it.

So thank you, dear client, for showing me the beauty of death and a life lived faithfully. You were so gracious to me, showing your appreciation and sharing your honest reflections on life with me. I'll never forget you!

Pumpkin Patch 2009

2009-11-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

Well, obviously I'm a little late on this post, but I'm really not concerned with punctuality. Ever.

We went to a pumpkin patch in Hillsboro and had a lot of fun last month. But boy were we shocked at how many rotten pumpkins they had! We are fairly certain we found the last four pumpkins that weren't half rotten. We felt bad for all the other people hunting through the huge patch that obviously missed these last few good ones.

We got to see a miniature horse and some cute little pigs and goats, ride a boat across a lake, and a spooky train ride was involved too. It gets easier and easier to do these family traditions now that we don't have toddling children. The bigger they get, the more things are easily accomplished.

We always take a picture of the kids heaving to lift up a pumpkin too large for them to manage because of an endeared picture of Aaron as a toddler doing the same thing. If I had a scanner, I'd post it here. Christmas present? ;)

Jog-a-Thon

2009-10-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

Warming up the legs.

The running begins!

(Watch her pull ahead of everyone!)

She was SPRINTING.

Checking her heart rate.

Hydrating.

Sprinting the final few seconds!

Exhausted!

She did 22 laps! Keep in mind these weren't around a track. Still though, pretty good for a five year old to run at top speed for 15 minutes! I estimate she did over a mile. Way to go Ella! She earned enough pledges to get a playground ball and other prizes. She is hoping to be the top pledge earner in her class and attend a root beer float party. We'll find out next week if she reached her goal. Thanks everyone!

If there are any others who want to send us a pledge to raise money for her school, let me know.

Class of '22

2009-10-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

So it's almost been a month, but I thought I'd give a little post about Ella's first day of Kindergarten.

First, she picked her outfit independent of any influence from her fashion deficient family. She is SO particular about wearing what she wants to wear, and I love this (for the most part).

She wore a lovely skirt with some sequin pizazz on it, her red hello kitty socks, her new tennis shoes, and her favorite Disney princess shirt under a pullover brown sweater.

And.... her mood ring. Not too shabby!

She went to the bus stop with Aaron and Miles. The stop is across a busy street, which is really annoying, but she met new friends immediately and sat with other Kindergarten students on the bus.

Apparently daddy forgot to care for Miles' hair during all the fuss over Ella's first day of school. Click on this picture for the close up -- it's worth it. He's so adorably unaware of what's growing out of his head.

Ella started getting excited...

The bus began its approach...

And just as quickly as she entered our lives, she was off leaving on the bus. The first of many more to come over the next 13 years...

CNA Training

2009-09-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

So this is actually Aaron. I broke into Chelan's account to inform everyone that Chelan is doing CNA training and LOVING it! I'm so proud of her and want to brag about her on her very own forum.

I don't know if she's just too humble or too busy to update with the fact that she is excelling in the program and enjoying every minute of it. This is a long time dream of hers and it is wonderful to watch her achieve that dream with the dedication, patience and just plain hard work it takes to make a life change of this magnitude. The kids are handling the transition well and I'm handling it with far less complaining than I expected of myself (still more than the national average, no doubt!).

So, let's pat CheZam on the back cyberspace style and congratulate her on a job well done.

Here's a picture of our own CNA in training bandaging her OWN foot on a recent hiking trip! Awesome....awesome.

Love you hon!

Aaron

Dahlia Carolyn Webster (my new niece)

2009-08-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

Did I somehow forget to blog about my new niece? She was born July 19th, weighing 7 pounds. She's the center of many conversations at our house. "Where's Baby Dahlia?" Miles asks... when I tell him she's at her house with Aunt B and Uncle Chris and Teagan, he reminds me that she was born. "She was borned! And I was borned too! But now I'm a big boy and I'm not borned anymore."

Getting to be with my in-laws and take pictures of all the intimate events of Dahlia's first moments was such a privilege... a treasure of memories for me.

She's pretty sweet. Already bigger. Doing so well. And big brother Teagan is figuring out his new life with this new baby who never seems to go away.

Congratulations Chris and Bethany and Teagan!

The Babes of Bristol 203

2009-07-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

I think I need to relive some old glory days. Here's one of my favorite pictures. This is me, Aimee, Priscilla, Rici, Sarah, Kelly.

These are some of my favorite people. The babes of Bristol 203 we liked to call ourselves. We were caught here by the camera while going to the cafeteria for lunch.

We lived together during the 1999-2000 school year, at the turn of the millennium. (I didn't have to spell check millennium. Impressed?)

This was a few months before I jumped a fence and nosedived on the concrete while escaping an attacking dog. Ooh, I'll find those pictures and post them next!

Since I've failed at keeping my computer updated with our current photos of my life, I'll start posting on ancient history instead. Sound fun?

Photography

2009-06-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

Aaron's in charge of our photos now. Sometimes I feel like picking up a daisy, plucking off the petals one by one and reciting:

I like this.

I like this not.

I like this.

I like this not.

Here's why. I like it! I like that he takes the pictures because he's good at it and has a fabulous camera and edits them so wonderfully and it makes me so happy to know we'll have such wonderful pictures for our years to come.

But then I don't like it! I never know where his camera is, what setting it's on, what lens will be attached to it and if it's okay to use outside, inside, fast speeds, low light, etc. By the time I consider all these things my children have turned a year older and the moment for the picture is long gone.

sigh.

Aaron let Ella take the picture of him posted above. I love this one.

I just need to get out my old rinky dink digital camera with two AA batteries and keep shooting away while he does all the fancy stuff. Then I can land on a good petal.

Hooray for Schedules!

2009-05-14T20:03:00.000-07:00

I've taken a great "first step" in getting my life in order. I make a schedule for the day. I've done this three days in a row now (this is considered a "streak" for me).

Rather than doing everything everyday half-heartedly, if I make a schedule it allows me to do a few things everyday whole-heartedly .

Instead of grocery shopping every day, I make a menu for two weeks and two shopping lists and do the shopping once a week.

Instead of trying to find the right moment to get my workout clothes on and get the kids out the door between breakfast, preschool, lunch, nap, and dinner, I follow my schedule for the day... and make sure when I write my schedule to include a workout at the gym.

I mean, mostly, I usually do this anyway. I go through my days with the kids on a basic schedule of breakfast, lunch, nap and dinner. I'll integrate craft projects, internet buzzing, reading, playing, gardening, housework, etc. But the day ALWAYS gets away from me and I never catch up to the first project I started at the beginning of the day that I never got around to finishing.

So I've never actually written down a schedule and followed it. But my brain needs to see something to understand it. I'm a visual person, so having something written down frees my mind to relax about remembering things... I have my written schedule to rely on if I forget what's next. (And I always forget what's next.)

I am such a visual person that it's a likely cause for the last argument and the next argument that my husband and I have. He is an auditory learner. He hears something, or just thinks it, and it's cemented into his brain. So when he has a plan for the day that includes a run with the dog, mowing the lawn, washing the cars, taking pictures on a hike, and cleaning out the garage all in four hours... it just makes sense to him because his brain can figure it out without seeing it written down. It works for him. But my brain comes to a screeching halt and there's a huge pile up of thoughts and confusion and worries that can't coexist in my head. I panic, get annoyed, wish I could just see it all in writing, and we argue. We get over it of course, but it's so predictable now... we should really start to anticipate it better.

So I'm writing out a schedule for my days. This is probably the singular most boring post I'll ever write on this blog. But it has to be written, of course, because if it's not written down, perhaps I'll forget it.

Order, Discipline, Purpose

2009-05-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

"Order, Discipline, Purpose" sounds like something from Mary Poppins. It's not. I'm just trying to put some fuel into my fire for life. I reflected last night that I'm feeling rather lackluster lately. (What a great word--lackluster.) I came up with those three words, almost immediately, as I pondered what I'm longing for in life.

When finances are out of whack, my house looks inside-out, and I'm not taking care of me--these are what I'm missing. Order (organization), Discipline (boundaries for myself), and Purpose (goals and meaning for life).

I usually post much more lightheartedly. Don't be mistaken, this isn't intended to be deep. I just need to get it out there on my blog, no matter who's reading, because it's real. It's me. There's nothing to hide here. Perhaps others can share their own intentions (including failures and triumphs) with having order, discipline, and purpose in their lives.

Sauvie Island

2009-04-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

We visited Sauvie Island for the first time EVER last month. It was a nice day (for the Northwest) with only a few light rain showers... so we put our coats on and played in the sand on the river. It turned out to be a really fun day and quite picturesque.

On the way to the beach we found a field of sheep with tons of newborn lambs playing around. There wasn't a soul around so we just parked on the road, opened the van doors, and all of us watched them play and "baa-a-a-a."

Ella's sweet little feet.

Miles' sweet little feet.

It had been a while since we'd seen the big ships on the Columbia River. When we lived in Kalama, Washington, 2006 and 2007, we watched them go up and down the river from our living room and dining room with the best view of the Columbia anyone's ever seen. So this ship looked familiar!

Outside--good. Stick--good. Water--GOOD.

Barefoot--good. Cool sand--good. Wide open space--GOOD.

Ella can't refuse building something in the sand. She really likes doing this with her Uncle Nolan. I think they are in a secret society together, because the other day she mentioned that Uncle Nolan is a friend of bees... and then quickly recanted as though she just released sensitive information.

As we left the island, Ella pointed out a large nest and told us it must be a nest for eagles. Being a mother who likes to build confidence in her children, I applauded her speculation... "Mmhmm, perhaps so." To my amazement, an bald eagle soared right over the nest and landed in it! So we stopped on the road again, and Aaron captured this picture. Another surprise was discovering there were two eagles in the nest together. Sauvie Island has 12,000 acres of protected wildlife.

What a fun place to visit, less than an hour away, just past downtown Portland. I can't wait for summer when the kids can really get wet there!

What a great day.

Animation

2009-03-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ella is animated.

When I was a child (my mother will testify to this)

I was very expressive as well. I still am... but not like Ella.

She's the master. I sit at her feet in wonder.

It's a gift she has, and it cracks us up. It's hard not to laugh aloud when she's rambling on and on. It's precious really. Can you guess what story she is telling Aaron below? Probably something about a boy at school misbehaving (they always do this). Aaron just clicked away while she talked. Great photos, huh?

She starts Tumbling class next week. What fun! At some point this summer we hope she'll get to go to some sort of zoo or animal camp like she did last year. She went to "Creepy, Crawly, Scaly Things" camp with my Aunt Teresa and cousin Ellen. But Teresa and Ellen are passing the baton to another person to lead that camp this year, so we may or may not attempt to let her go to a different animal camp. She loves animals so much and we love to give her the chance to further develop her imagination and her love for animals. She told me yesterday she might like to be an animal conservationists or a zookeeper instead of a veterinarian. She also told me she'd been practicing being a veterinarian just in case she couldn't be a zookeeper (that's my girl, always planning on a backup).

After summer, she'll start Kindergarten and at that point we're looking into a class at the Northwest Children's Theater in Portland. Wouldn't she be a great actress?

Giraffe Love

2009-03-20T09:39:00.001-07:00

(click on this picture to get a REALLY good look at those lips)

The kids and I went to the zoo for a while yesterday afternoon with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and nephew, Teagan. We ran across the giraffe indoors where he usually isn't seen. They only bring him indoors for observation or other special things. So we were head to head with him with a window between us. He stands about 16 feet tall! So cool.

He was surprisingly glad to see us and did more than just notice we were there. He walked over to our window and pressed his lips against the window for about ten minutes while we fell in love with him. We couldn't bear to leave for a while because it was such a neat encounter and we got to examine him so closely. We all took turns pressing our lips on the glass to give him a kiss. He sneezed on the window, but we didn't take any pictures of that because it triggered my gag reflex. I'm having a hard time even typing about it. Yuck!

Anyway, here's the giraffe yesterday... I'm going back today with Aaron and the kids so Aaron can enjoy the zoo without the crowds (4:00 is the perfect time). We'll see if Aaron gets some giraffe lovin'.

Ron Stump

2009-03-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

Our friend and Family Life Minister passed away this week. He battled cancer for over two years, but we had the joy of meeting him when he was living well (though cancer was inside him). He became my husband's friend and mentor so quickly here at our new church in Beaverton, Oregon. But science hasn't figured out a cure for the obscure cancer he had... some day they will.

Sunday we will remember him at 4:00 at the Westside Church of Christ in Beaverton, Oregon.

Although a couple of months ago it became apparent he wasn't going to survive, nothing prepares you adequately for death. So many are grieving. His family are our friends, so we grieve with them out of love.

Pray for his wife, Kay and his children and their spouses and his wonderful grandkids.

This and That

2009-02-27T13:14:00.000-08:00

This is a post for me to sleep better at night. I need to cross off a few things on the perpetual To Do List in my brain. When I get to the bottom of this post, I'll be able to cross off #3 on my To Do List.

This is Cloudy.

She's a horse that my cousin lets us ride when we visit her barns out in Estacada.

Ella got to have her birthday party out there when she turned five years (yep, way back in November of 2008). She, Miles, and two friends got to ride Cloudy and have some pizza in a muddy barn with my cousins and other family. It was a great day.

Ella riding.

My cousin, Ellen, is leading. My other cousin is walking on the other side because Cloudy was concerned about a bonfire in a distant field that didn't smell right to her. (We didn't want her to throw a tantrum about a bonfire when a kid was on her back... Cloudy's a great horse, but a very large animal that gets to behave however she wants to when push comes to shove.)

Miles riding.

My cousin, Michael, is a funny guy. He wore his sandals to the barn that day, not anticipating that he'd be chosen to assist children riding a horse... wearing sandals while waking around an arena with a horse at your side isn't the smartest idea... but he's a risk taker!

Ella got a visit from her best friend, Izzy for her birthday. The Ries' all joined us for dinner at Red Robin (with a yummy Sundae) and then we all went to the movie theater and watched Madagascar, Return 2 Africa.

Ella got a special present in the mail from her beloved Aunt Mae Mae (in Abilene, Texas). It was a book called "Memoirs of a Four Year Old" and a stuffed animal (elephant). She was delighted to have her birthday strung out for so many days.

Five-year-olds get a lot more tickling than four-year-olds.

I'm fairly certain Aaron's going to convince Ella not to grow up any more though, so she won't have to endure the exponential tickling that could accompany her sixth birthday this year.

All the Ries and Metcalf kids... Miles is sometimes the lonely "baby" but he's figuring out that he likes Aiden's toys when we visit, and Aiden is a super duper nice boy.

#3: Write a post about Ella's birthday fifth birthday. CHECK!

RemarkableTribute

2009-02-01T15:35:00.000-08:00

My friend, Jennifer Davis, just launched a new business that I think is pretty neat. I'd love people to look at her site and see what it's all about. You take any written text (letters or stories or notes or captions) and any photographs and combine them to create a book or even a webpage--a tribute for someone. So my mom's 60th birthday party a couple of years ago would have been the perfect time to make a beautiful keepsake book that would include all of the letters people wrote with thoughtful stories and all of the pictures from her life and our party.

So think about who you want to make a tribute for and check out this website:

www.RemarkableTribute.com

Dr. King

2009-01-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

Ella doesn't have school Monday, but I'm fairly sure no one at preschool has told her why. Not that I blame them. It's complicated to explain Monday to Ella--she's only five-years-old.

I told her that Monday is a holiday to celebrate the birthday of a man named Martin Luther King, Jr.

I told her he was a preacher like her dad, but that he preached to the whole country sometimes. I told her he tried to help people who were treated badly and unfairly.

I told her he knew there were people who hated him, but that he never ever believed it was okay to hate anyone back--just like Jesus.

I told her he changed the laws that were hurting people in our country... and that this changed everything.

We'll show her Dr. King's most famous sermon on Monday. We'll watch it as a family. Aaron and I will cry, because we always do. Ella will lose interest a little bit, and we'll force her to be still, because we always do. Miles will squirm away and not hear much... but he's only two-years-old, so we won't mind so much. But we'll do it again next year, and the year after that, because some day Ella and Miles will cry too.

Dr. King was only 34 when he delivered this sermon. This is startling to me. He modeled his mission of nonviolent protest to the injustice of racism after the example of Jesus and Gandhi. "We will match your capacity to inflict suffering with our capacity to endure suffering... We will not hate you, but we cannot... obey your unjust laws... we will so appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process." He won the Nobel Peace Prize for his pursuit of justice before he was murdered at the age of 39. That crime is so painfully ironic.

I've embedded his "I Have a Dream" speech below.

Style

2009-01-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

I posted this on facebook, but wanted to put it here too.

2009 will be the year I surrendered our battle over clothes. (It wasn't really that much of a battle... but it had the potential to be a whopper!) I love dressing her in hip little outfits with pants and shirts and skirts with leggings, but she insists dresses are all she needs.

She's cooperative and compliant though, so if I insisted she matched or wore pants, she would deal with it. But I think my children need to have power given to them to control their own lives a little bit here and there. So she picks her own clothes now (mostly).

But Miles is still my little clothes minion.

More Snow!

2008-12-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

Looks like there will be another 2-4 inches tonight and then a possible 3-6 more overnight... and then freezing rain and ice all over tomorrow, so we probably won't have church in the morning. That'll be two Sundays in a row. Bummer. No church services for the two Sundays before Christmas sure does feel strange.

We've had a bunch of fun playing outside this week... okay, I only did it once. I just don't have the energy or desire to bundle myself up after I get the kids all bundled up and out the door with Aaron. I did it once, and it was great. But twice? Nah.

We still had blooming roses on our bushes outside wen the first snow hit on Sunday. Today there's another four inches that have covered all the old stuff. For those of you unfamiliar with our neck of the woods--we just don't usually see it stick this well. At least not on the valley floor.

Ella has turned into a snow bunny. She doesn't complain at all about the cold, hasn't had any major crying breakdowns due to freezing fingers or toes, and is happy to endure the bundling up. Of course a lot of this may be due to the fact that I invested in good winter gear for the kids this summer when it was on clearance. I guessed at their winter shoe size and got it right! Nothing beats good wool socks, warm snow boots, snow pants, a weather proof coat and hood, and gloves that stay on.

Good winter clothes make for a happier mommy too. I need some snow pants and snow boots. But I postpone buying them since I never get myself out into the snow... sort of a chicken and egg thing.

The only word to describe this picture, as Wendy Wolfgang so eloquently worded in her facebook comment:

Bliss!

Truth and Lies in the Snow

2008-12-14T08:40:00.000-08:00

So this picture is the lie... because it's a year old from last February in Longview. It's Miles in the back yard. He was about 16 months old in a two-year-old's coat and looked like E.T. waddling around. He fell a lot. It was reminiscent of "A Christmas Story."

Now for the truth... here is how our morning started:

Blue barking and excited at the neighbors squealing with delight. Ella snapping, "No!" at Blue (since he was on her bed and woke her up--he gets to sleep on her bed now, but this is another story for another blog post). Me snapping, "No!" at Blue. Me looking out the blinds on the window like a child about to get a school cancellation... seeing snow flurries and a small accumulation on the ground... scurrying to Ella's room to be the first to tell her to look out the window. "Look out the window!" I tell Ella. She does. She gasps! She sighs. "I knew it was going to snow!" She says. And then with her head tilted to the heavens and her fists thrusting into the air simultaneously before her she adds, "It's finally Christmas!!!"

Five years old is SO adorable.

Five Years

2008-11-26T11:54:00.000-08:00

This is Aaron and me.

We've been married for 15 months.

I'm pregnant.

It's November 13, 2003, about 7:30 am.

I've been having contractions every 4 or 5 minutes for 90 minutes.

We're heading to the hospital (Hendrick Medical Center in Abilene, Texas).

This is Ella Megan Metcalf, born by emergency c-section at 2:15.

Although we had a scare, she was fine.

I was fine.

She is small and perfect. We are so fortunate!

6 lbs. 7 0z.

19 1/4" long

A Grandpa was born.

A Grandma was born.

A "Gram" was born.

Our first family photo.

All the nurses asked to hold Ella,

but Aaron refused to let anyone hold her

until I woke up after surgery and held her first.

I was sleepy and sore, but I remember this moment perfectly.

She stopped fussing the minute her forehead leaned against my cheek.

Aaron told me she had the same birthmark I had...

he also said she was 12 inches long.

(I don't think her length mattered to him as much as her being out and well.)

She changed everything.

A new Daddy was born.

A new Mommy, too.

She had all her "firsts"...

At two weeks, her first smile with Hillary Neilson.

First friends.

Hunter Williams

The Ries'

Christmas 2005

Her first Forever Friend.

Izzy Ries

(Camping Trip with just "The Dads"

Ben and Aaron and the kids)

Her first Sweetheart.
Jack Lusk

Sidney, Texas.

Thousands of expressions.

That little dimpled chin... sigh.

Dozens of pets.
This kitty loved being held by its neck, I promise.

Countless memories.

Aaron's graduation, May 2006

With Linzie Bessent.

The Oregon Coast, 2006

A new brother, Miles.

Learning to swim.

Learning to be beautiful.

Dancing with her Prince Charming.

Staying close with friends.

Good old Teddy and Blanket.

Happy Birthday Sweet Ella!

You are the light of my life!

Chores

2008-10-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

Ella wants toys. Toys require money. Ella earns money by doing special chores. Some days she is EXTREMELY motivated to earn money and I can hardly find anything for her to do. This is a little video of her washing the outside window (where Blue's nose gets it all smudgy). She was so desperate for money to save up for toys that she did this three times.

Two years ago

2008-09-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

This is me.

Two years ago-ish.

This is Miles Merrill Metcalf.

Again, two years ago.

This is Miles holding Ella's finger.

He was about fifteen minutes old.

This is our first family photo together.

Zoe, the little toy kitty, is appropriately pictured... It was Ella's gift to Miles when he was born (thanks to Aunt B spending the money on it at the hospital gift shop).

This is Miles the morning after he was born.

So happy to join the rest of the non-swimming world!

(And SO beautiful!)

This is Ella, who suddenly went into labor on the floor of my delivery room... it was just like Father of the Bride Part II.

She was 2 1/2 years old.

This is Miles Merrill Metcalf.

A couple of days ago. Two years old and loving it!

Happy Birthday buddy!

Preschool and other things

2008-09-20T00:24:00.000-07:00

(I wrote this out a couple of weeks ago, but only now added the pictures. I think it's still worth posting, although late.)

Ella is in 4's preschool this year. These are some pics of her first day.

We went to the store today to get her new shoes (she's finally outgrown all of her hand-me-downs) and she was OBSESSED with the dresses. She has no desire to ever wear pants again. Nor does she have the desire to change her underwear, but that's embarrassing for her if I mentioned it on the world wide web, so I won't continue on that tangent.

Anyway, she requested her pictures be taken with her dog.

On another note, I have added a link to the right under "links I like" (or you can click here) for Tara's new site where you can browse (and buy) some beautiful little leather cuffs for babies. I think they're so adorable... some little kids in my life might get their own for Christmas! (Don't tell!)

2008-09-10T23:58:00.001-07:00

Make a Smilebox greeting

"Labor Day" Weekend

2008-09-04T13:06:00.000-07:00

Last year during this past week, my little nephew Teagan was born. And then right on Labor Day (September 3, 2007) my friend Aimee Jo had her first baby, Anaiah Dawn Martin.

This year a new baby elephant was born at the Oregon Zoo. Ella wondered if it might be bigger than me. ha ha. Unfortunately Aaron heard this comment and got a kick out of the idea that an elephant being bigger than me is a legitimate question.

Funny enough, Aaron went with his family to the Oregon Zoo to see a new baby elephant born in 1994. It happened to be the mother of the baby we saw! So the mother was only 14 years old, and Aaron's watched it grow up!

We waited for about ten minutes in line to see the new baby elephant at the Oregon Zoo. Miles says "Elephant" more like "Esant" but it's super cute. He wasn't as impressed with the baby as he was with the full grown elephants.

But the rest of us thought the baby was SOOOOOOOOO cute! It had been sleeping, and the line had to move through at a good pace in order for everyone to see it. So we thought we'd just see it sleeping... but it woke up and tried to get up to stand while we were walking through. It finally stood up. Super super cute. My camera ran out of memory right after she got up. So it's a short little video clip.

After 31 hours of labor--less than what I went through with Miles--the elephant was born on my nephew Teagan's 1st birthday (also shared by my Grammy who lives in Lyle, Washington), August 23rd. He weighed 286 pounds (the elephant, not Miles).

Happy Birthday baby elephant! And happy first birthday to Teagan and Anaiah, and happy 89th to my Grammy, Lois Lake.

New Beginnings

2008-09-02T10:40:00.001-07:00

Somehow I've managed to neglect this blog for the better part of the summer.

Quick recap:

Aaron's got a new job at the Westside Church of Christ in Beaverton, Oregon. So we're no longer Washingtonians. He started his first day of work on August 18th, his first Sunday preaching was the 24th... and it's going GREAT. Whoever reads this out in blogland--Aaron's a great preacher. I'm constantly relieved, refocused, reminded, resolved, and renewed through his words. So come visit Westside if you're ever in the Beaverton area. www.westsidecofc.net

Ella's starting preschool (4's class) this week. More later.

Miles is turning 2 this month. He's also gone potty in the toilet every day (sometimes multiple times a day) for the past week. He's wearing big boy undies today (in the house). I'm SURE there'll be colorful stories to tell on this later.

Aaron and I did the Hood to Coast Run and the Portland to Coast Walk a week ago. Fun times.

We're renting a house in Beaverton. But we still have our house in Longview that we bought last December. It's being rented out. Kind of stressful at first, but now it's working out great. Hopefully our tenants in Longview will be good, and hopefully we'll be able to buy a house in Beaverton before Ella starts Kindergarten next year.

I'm starting my second season of volleyball officiating. I really enjoy this. First game is this week.

Lots of hopes. Lots of new things. Lots of excitement. Lots of activity.

Pictures and fun times to come on the blog.

Hugs and Kisses!

T-Ball Season

2008-06-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

Well, it's over now, but T-Ball season was a blast. These are pics from her last game. It was the last week of May. The team had a big party after this game at a pizza place. She got a medal from the Longview YMCA for her participation. I like to think of it more as an MVP award.

How cute is this???????

On deck.

She's horribly cute to watch, but sometimes it's painful as a mother on the sidelines. She's just so much more interested in the dandelions around her feet and the way the wind feels when she twirls around in circles than she is with someone hitting a ball off a pole.

Okay, so here's the honest truth: she can't throw. At all. Not sure what's going on with that, but it's never a success... but she keeps on trying!

"What if I arch my back and throw it underhand? Surely it'll end up looking better than my overhand throws?"

And she knocks it out of the park!

With Gratitude...

2008-06-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

I wasn't aware of the comfort that could come from so many, MANY condolences regarding my father's death. I received a couple of cards the first week... and then they poured in, and I was surprised at how "understood" I felt. So thanks... to those who heard through the grapevine, and to those who I talked to, and to those who read this blog, and to those who commented here. I'm so grateful for the kind words. Whatever was said was meaningful--just the words, and the subsequent lack of silence, are what helped a lot.

The new Coldplay CD is out and it's great. One line continues to replay over and over again in my head from this album: "Those who are dead are not dead, they're just living in my head." It sure does ring true for me this past month. What a strange thing to finalize a life. My dad's sister, my Aunt Margaret Ella (one of my daughter's namesakes) gave me a silly old collection of keys that my dad had... but of course they're not silly to me anymore. I swear I can remember him having a ridiculous amount of keys on (or in?) his dresser when I was young... it must have been the beginning to the collection he acquired, which now sits in a simple jar with a lid in my bedroom.

I also received his coin collection. He loved collections. Our family has always been interested in collections. So I feel some sort of specialness when I see his coin collection. I collect Hallmark Christmas ornament series, and other ornaments in general. My brother used to have a collection of patches when he was young. And for a long while, my cousins started giving me tons of carrousel items to begin a collection... so it seems fitting that I get to keep his coin collection. I'm not much of a collector anymore... but I do keep my ornaments going.

I never talked to him about collections, or his keys, or the coins. But now we all talk about it. In these small ways, it seems that my dad lives a lot more now than he did when he wasn't dead yet. And that's why I think that song keeps repeating in my head... "those who are dead are not dead, they're just living in my head."

Anyway, thanks for the thoughtful condolences... we're doing well.

Memorial Service

2008-06-07T08:56:00.001-07:00

Dad's memorial service was yesterday in Lyle, Washington where he lived for a long time before he was in Assisted living the past five years. There was only a small group, which is just the way I pictured it. It was just what I wanted, and I don't think he would have preferred it to be any different.

We're doing better and better. Ella had some deep thoughts this week about death. She's familiar with people dying, especially when she saw her dog dead and buried her last October. We've been trying to tell her how everyone is sad, but that we'll be better in a little while because we know that Grampy is in heaven, etc. But late the other night she woke up crying and said, "It's no fun to die. It's no fun for Grampy." She's right.

We sat around some tables and shared lots of stories. It was informal but intimate. I wrote his obituary and scanned a few photos of him for the printed order of service. And I created a nice poster display board of lots of his pictures of childhood and college and family. I'm posting the obituary below, but can't get the photos to convert to jpg yet, so I'll have to do that another day. Hope everyone enjoys the obituary though.

Obituary

Joseph Earl Miller of Gresham, Oregon, died peacefully Tuesday, June 4, 2008 at Providence Medical Center in Portland, Oregon. He was 60 years old.

Joe was born July 14, 1947 in Colville, Washington to Lois Helen Lake of Lyle, Washington and the late Earnest Earl Miller of Cashmere, Washington. Joe, along with his older sister Margaret Smith and younger brothers Thomas Miller and George Miller, grew up in East Wenatchee, Washington, where he attended the Church of Christ and graduated from Eastmont High School in 1965.

At the age of 18, Joe became the 33rd person to endure a life-threatening surgery to remove a tumor discovered in his right ear. He was the 8th person to survive this surgery. Grateful for his full recovery he began attending Columbia Christian College in Portland, Oregon in the Spring of 1966, where he met and married Bonnie Hartmann on August 13, 1967. They moved to Los Angeles, California where Joe worked for Sears and Beneficial Finance. He returned to Columbia Christian College from 1969 to 1972 where he worked as a Student Placement Director, Alumni Director, and drove as a chaperone for the college’s touring singing group “Newcomers.”

Joe became the proud father of a son, K.C. (Kendrick Clyde) Miller on July 12, 1975, and a daughter, Chelan Joelle Metcalf, born December 3, 1978. During this period, Joe was an employee for Kama Security where he was appointed to the rank of Lieutenant in 1978. He also worked for All State Leasing Company, the Air Academy in Vancouver, Washington, and Citi Corp.

In 1985 Joe was diagnosed with Neurofibromatosis, For a period of Joe’s life, the psychological and physical effects of his diagnosis were tremendous loads to bear. He became divorced in 1991 and lived a quiet life in the hills of Lyle, Washington where he lived together with his brother Tom and their mother. His favorite hobbies were fishing and camping. He loved to spend time alone in the woods.

His most recent years have been an inspiration for his family to watch. He was known as “Grampy” to his grandchildren, Ella and Miles Metcalf, born in 2003 and 2006. He gave them rides on his wheelchair whenever they visited. He was affectionately called “Sonny” at Hawk’s Ridge Assisted Living in Hood River, Oregon where he spent most of his final years as one of their younger residents. He later joined the Village Health Care facility in Gresham, Oregon, where he resided at the time of his death.

He is survived by his children, K.C.Miller of Vancouver, Washington and Chelan Metcalf, and her husband, Aaron of Longview, Washington, his two grandchildren Ella and Miles Metcalf, his mother, Lois Helen Lake of Lyle, Washington and his three siblings, Margaret Smith and her husband Robert of Appleton, Washington, Thomas Miller of Lyle, Washington, and George Miller and his wife Teresa of Portland, Oregon, as well as one nephew, Michael Miller, and one niece, Ellen Miller.

He was easy to talk to, charming, and fun to be around. His family and friends will miss his wit, his engaging stories, his companionship, his unique ability to listen well, and the warmth he gave just by being near him.

"It's Okay..."

2008-06-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

My dad passed away early this morning at a hospital in Portland, Oregon. He was 60 years old. He was comfortable, and died peacefully. He was surrounded by family who loved him.

My parents split up when I was very young, Kindergarten-age I guess. I didn't see my dad frequently or on a regular basis growing up. But we had time together during summer camping trips with my Pappa. I traveled up the Columbia River Gorge numerous times through my growing up years with my Aunt Teresa and Uncle George and cousins Michael and Ellen to see my dad in Lyle where he lived in town with his siblings Margaret and Tom and his mother (my sweet Grammy, Lois Lake). I spent Thanksgiving with him usually... and then sometimes I would visit on my own. It was only about once or twice a year, but those times have accumulated to be quite a number of special and memorable visits through the years.

He was able to visit East County Church of Christ to hear my husband preach a few years back. And he was able to attend our wedding and say an opening prayer for our ceremony. He attended my college graduation and my high school graduation. He visited the Metcalf's house in Troutdale and we celebrated his 57th birthday a few years ago. I made him sugar free banana pudding pie, because he was diabetic. There are many more visits, but these stand out as special ones.

He got be a Grandpa before he died, and this was fun to watch. He loved our kids. He confessed he often talked to a picture of our daughter, Ella, as though she could hear him... he was so fond of her, his first grandbaby.

It's hard to summarize someone fully in a few words, because everyone contradicts themselves every once in a while in life... someone may say my dad was a talkative guy, but others might say he was quiet and solemn... I'd say you can't summarize a human so easily. At least not my dad.

Knowing people are complicated, I can still confidently say he was a friendly, animated, genuine, comfortable, funny and warm person. It would have been so nice to have had more of my life to spend with him. It's hard to cope with the "what if's" about my relationship with him.

It feels so lonely to lose him and only know a handful of people in the entire world that knew him well, and who will miss him with me. I'm glad that Aaron knew him well, and was able to comfort him with me during his final hours.

During the last few days he repeated the words, "It's okay," a lot. And at first it seemed he was reassuring himself... but then we understood him to be assuring us, his family, George, Teresa, Ellen, Aaron, and me (and others who couldn't be there), that it was okay if he died. He was ready. We all know he was ready.

I felt grateful that he knew I loved him and that I was present with him. I felt grateful that he was my dad. And I don't know that I've ever felt that before. But it's true. And that feels really good. I'm grateful that Joe Miller was my dad.

Holding Hands

2008-04-15T21:57:00.001-07:00

Aaron recently tried to explain to Ella what it means for people to "break up." Ella knows a couple that recently broke up, and Aaron wanted to be sure she understood that it wouldn't be natural to see them together anymore... a hard thing to explain. But it was necessary. She's old enough to understand pretty intricate ideas, but she still reasons everything out in her own sweet little brain... Aaron said the conversation went something like this (names of people have been changed to protect their identity):

Aaron begins, "Ella, we still love Billy Jo Bob, but he's not Susy Q's boyfriend anymore. They broke up. Do you know what that means?"

Ella replies with some clarifying questions... and Aaron explains it further in some simpler terms, "Since they broke up, they don't kiss or spend as much special time together, and they don't hold hands anymore."

Ella replied, "But dad, if they don't hold hands and they're crossing a street, BOOM! Die."

Hmm... not sure she caught onto that conversation the way Aaron was hoping she would. But she has a good point.

The moral of this story: if you happen to be crossing the street at the same time as your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend... get over yourself and use your better judgment--hold hands when you're crossing the street!

"Hat!"

2008-04-08T19:49:00.001-07:00

Miles loves a good hat. He is pretty fond of Ella's Disney Princess helmet, which she's outgrown... but he ain't too keen on wearing his own helmet that's blue with googly eyes and bugs on it. He wore Ella's Princess helmet around the house for a while and Ella found a hairnet to use as her hat and I thought it was pretty funny.

Funny Faces

2008-04-05T10:20:00.001-07:00

Sometimes we like to make funny faces at the digital camera and see how gross we can make ourselves look. Notice there are no photos of me... I prefer not to publish these photos on the world wide web, in case I ever run for President of the United States, or want to on American Idol--you don't want unbecoming photos floating around in cyberspace ready to defame your good reputation. Anyhoo... here's my family in all their beautiful glory...

Ella makes a great piggy face. Some day she may hate, hate, HATE me for taking this picture. For a good laugh, this is a risk I am willing to take.

Miles is trying to be crazy here. Unbeknown to him, he is irresistibly cute and can never really look crazy.

This is the family trying to be wacky... and although Ella is 100% adorable, she has mastered her facial expressions and CAN look crazy... certifiable. (Joking around about someone who actually IS crazy and funny looking isn't very diplomatic... so I'm not saying anything about Aaron in this picture.)

Can you believe how ridiculous this tiger looks when he tries hard?

Miles wants to make a piggy face really bad, but can't quite figure out how to get his little nose to stick up.

You Can Only Imagine

2008-03-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

Imagine Blue, our dog, and Ella, our four-year-old angelic daughter, having a moment together. Ella is tenderly nursing Blue's wounded paw. (Blue's is being a little wimpy about his sore paws after his eight mile cross country skiing adventure he took with Aaron and his dad two days ago.) Blue is lowering his head as he lays still on his side, moving only marginally. He looks up at Ella with slightly crossed eyes as he wonders in his doggy brain, "Am I going to get a treat for being so still for this?"

Imagine once again Ella gently supporting Blue's head with her FAVORITE possession in the entire world--her Purple Teddy. Blue lays his head on Teddy with some reservation, but slowly realizes Teddy is quite comfy. Blue rests on Teddy while Ella covers Blue's body with her other most valuable and loved possession in the entire world--her Blanket.

Imagine how sweetly Ella pets Blue until his eyes close little by little, the way a dog's do... reluctantly... wondering what he might be missing if his eyes close for too long. Imagine me taking a picture. I get a good close up. One vertical, one horizontal, etc.

Then imagine me losing my USB connecting cord so that I'm without means to download these adorable photos from my camera onto my laptop and then into this fun little post.

Daddy-Daughter Ball

2008-02-24T23:19:00.000-08:00

Aaron and Ella went to the ball tonight. This is something very special they did last year through Longview Parks and Recreation. Aaron is always encouraged to see so many fathers in one place with their daughters keeping their full loving attention. What a great memory for these girls. Aaron got Ella a wrist corsage, a pair of clip-on earrings, and a sparkling necklace to wear with the dress she picked out with me. She wanted it to be black (this is a favorite color of hers). It was black with sparkles, a little ruffly net lining hanging down underneath, and about three sizes too big so it would be long. (Ella only likes dresses that go "all the way down.") She wore her black sparkle dress shoes, and I even put mascara and blush and invisible eye shadow on her (she felt the brush on her lids, but there wasn't anything on the brush--wink wink). I even used the curling iron on her so so so straight hair and got it to keep a curve in it (notice in the picture below). Ella got Aaron a lovely boutanire too. And of course they coordinated their clothes so they would be the most smashing couple there.

They danced the night away, and although there were only a few details I could squeeze out of Ella when they got home this evening, I know it was a great night. I know this because Ella was just talking in her sleep saying, "My legs hurt from dancing!" Quite a date for a four-year-old girl.

I find it fascinating that Ella will measure men by the standard her father sets for her in her life. Aaron and I went away for a romantic night downtown Portland this weekend while my mom watched the kids. This is the kind of thing I want her to remember about marriage and her parents and how you care for one another when you love and respect another person... you are attentive, you put them first in your life, you make plans that are important and keep them, you surprise one another, you are interested in giving thoughtful gifts to one another, you say kind words, and you give your best to that person. These are some of the things she's learning about love and men and her prince charming... all these things and more that I'm not even aware of. She picks up what her little spongy brain and heart is interested in and in need of absorbing.

Now I have to figure out what Miles will be learning about women because of me. I hope I teach him to be interested in women who are confident, capable, smart, independent, and funny, and yet not afraid to be sensitive, feminine, supportive, and nurturing. I hope he learns that girls are valuable because we are humans, and all people deserve respect and are to be valued. And I hope he isn't someone who allows girls to determine the value he places on himself as a man. I want to teach him that he is valuable as a man because of who is and how he treats people, not because he is adored and pursued by women (which I'm fairly certain he will be).

Sigh... anyway...

I'm grateful for my daughter, and really grateful for her dad. Somehow I feel like it's an accomplishment to provide her with a father that is so loving, attentive, playful, imaginative, silly, involved, tender, funny, and adoring of her.

Tag, I'm It

2008-02-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

Jen tagged me, and though I'm not sure why, I've decided to play along--I can be a grump about these things sometimes, but today--no. Today I am joyously ready to answer the following "8's":

8 Things I'm Passionate About
1. My children
2. My husband
3. My friends
4. Gardening and landscaping and watching things bloom and grow
5. Scrapbooking (not sure I'd call it a "passion" but it's something that I like)
6. Social justice
7. Ministry
8. Photographs

8 Things I Want to do Before I Die
1. See Africa.
2. Take an Alaskan cruise.
3. Take a vacation to New York City.
4. See my children become parents.
5. Have a beautiful yard with flowers, shade, walkways, birds, a hammock, benches, and a pond of fish.
6. Write best selling fiction.
7. Write best selling nonfiction.
8. Volunteer for something I'm passionate about (not necessarily something from the first list).

8 Things I Say Often
1. Get out of the kitchen! (to the dog)
2. Where did it go? (to Miles)
3. Girlfriend (I call Ella this for some reason)
4. Dumb
5. AAAAAA (this is me sounding off a courtesy laugh--it sounds monotone, unfeminine, and frankly, uneducated)
6. I love you! (to the kids and hubby every day)
7. Maybe so (to Ella after most of her suggestions)
8. I'm so glad I'm your mom! (in Ella's ear every night at bed time)

8 Artists I Never Tire of Listening to
1. U2
2. Sarah McLachlan
3. Brandi Carlile
4. Bob Dylan
5. Counting Crows
6. Green Day
7. Amos Lee
8. Dave Matthews

8 TV Shows I Love
1. The West Wing
2. Lost
3. Seinfeld (though it's long over now, it's still one I love)
4. Desperate Housewives
5. The Office
6. Grey's Anatomy
7. Oprah
8. The Late Show with David Letterman

8 Things That Attract Me to My Friends
1. Authenticity
2. Vulnerability
3. Quick to listen
4. Even quicker to forgive
5. Availability
6. History (history between me and a friend is incredibly valuable)
7. The ability to be silent together and not feel uncomfortable
8. Timelessness--meaning three things: a) we can pick up our friendship where we last left off, b) we know our friendship is secure even though we don't talk for months, even years, and c) we lose track of time when we're together.

And Finally, 8 Things I Learned in 2007
1. How to grieve (Adam, Annie, Jacob)
2. How to love two children equally
3. Maybe a little bit about what it means to be a "supportive" wife
4. Life is fragile
5. That forgiving others is an ongoing action
6. How to buy a house
7. How to be green
8. Jesus didn't get to defend himself when he was falsely accused... so don't have to either.

What a fabulous assignment... I think I'll tag Priscilla and Roxanna... blog links are to the right (making baby is Roxy's).

Hi Bunny! Hi Linzie!

2008-02-11T13:23:00.000-08:00

Ella was on one of her summer trips to the Northwest when I took this little clip at the park... she was about 1 1/2 years old. I never sent it to the lovely people I intended it to go to though. So now I'll post it here and hopefully they'll see it and remember how fondly they are loved.

First Words

2008-01-27T22:00:00.000-08:00

Miles has said his official first words a long time ago. His very first words were "Annie" (our beloved dog that died last October) and "amen." But now he's able to say several more and has begun repeating things we ask him to say. Usually he fizzles out by the time we've gotten to the third or fourth word for him to repeat. But on this cute little video he does pretty good. (At the beginning he's correcting our dog, Blue, by saying a "ch" sound.)

Something Special

2008-01-24T23:39:00.001-08:00

Ella asks me about once or twice a day--and I mean every day--if we can do "something special." Sometimes it gets under my skin because I sense that she is trying to tell me that our typical routine of me cleaning the house up while she whines of boredom isn't fulfilling for her. But every day manages to become something special... and it doesn't take much to make it special... that's what I love, love, LOVE about my children.

Today we decided to have some mini chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Now we don't usually do dessert after dinner... tonight was a "special" night and we made cookies (okay we opened a package of Nestle Tollhouse cookie dough and baked it for 9 minutes). And when Ella asked me if she could have one that was "cold" I whispered in her ear "okay." And she smiled so sweetly.

We also made a special trip to Fred Meyer's to pick out a new color of fingernail polish. She was tiring of red and pink options here at the house (as all girls eventually do). So she chose a lovely $1.99 bottle of sparkly orange polish. She even put it all on herself and was quite delighted to with her performance. This would be a good time to click on the picture above and get an up-close look at her artistry.

Doing things by herself used to be highly valued when she was about 20 months old to about three years... but now it's coming back again. Just yesterday she spent about 8 minutes trying to buckle her OWN car seat while I stood by supporting her in the bitter cold wind of the early morning. I really didn't think it would happen, but then CLICK! Boy did she smack me a good high five! She was so proud of herself. I love being able to report these things to Aaron when he comes home from work. I mean, how much better does it get than the day you can finally buckle your car seat all by yourself?--or as Ella used to say, "all by my myself."

At the end of the day Daddy came home and Blue and Miles were waiting loyally by the door for the howling and screaming to commence as he walked in the door. But today was special for them because I opened the door and let them peek through the screen for a while.

The little things are what's special, and I think that's all Ella's really asking me for when she reminds me each morning that the day has the possibility of being special... she just wants something to smile about. And it's usually free, painless, and remarkably memorable.

Genetics

2008-01-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

Both of my kids inherited some obvious traits from Aaron... the little dimple in Ella's chin is from his side of the family (though he doesn't have one himself). The smallness of Miles must come from his side of the family too, unless it's something Miles got from my Uncle George. The blond hair as a baby is from Aaron too.

Obviously they look an awful lot like both of us... in fact, they both have birthmarks that are exactly like mine. Mine is on my sternum, Ella's is at the nape of her neck, Miles' is on his left cheek.

And now there's one more thing that Miles and I have that makes us look alike... the scar beneath our noses.

Today Miles slipped on a wet spot in the kitchen, fell straight forward, and slammed his little nose right on the open dishwasher. Ouch! He's good at hurting himself and falling. He gets over it quick. But I was pretty sure this one would need to be glued or stitched up. It sort of popped open and split his little nose away from his face. I couldn't tell from all the blood if the cut went up into his nose or not... so away we went for a field trip to the ER.

The cut turned out not to go up his nose. And the doctors said he couldn't glue it shut because he's risk the glue running into his sinuses... and adhering his little nasal passages together! So he said he's stitch it if I wanted him to, but it would only leave different looking scar than the one it'll already leave. And the doctor assured me it's a hard place to stitch up well because it's hard cartilage on the nose connecting to really soft tissue on the upper lip... so I said, "NO THANKS!"

So we went home and to church, and it's not that noticeable. He pointed to his nose a few times tonight, sticking his finger up his nostril, and saying quizatively, "Nose?"

He'll be fine.

And for those of you who are wondering why his little scar would make him match me... it's because I have one on my upper lip too. If anyone wants to hear the story and have me take a close up of the scar... you'll have to beg for the latter, but the story's a good one to share.

Clay

2008-01-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

Ella and I had fun with modeling clay today. She got it in her stocking from Gram for Christmas. Miles slept while we secretly made a bird in a nest, on a branch, sitting on eggs (for which Ella thoughtfully made "an extra back so the bird wouldn't melt"). You might notice its extra back if you look closely. It's strange, but it's hers.

We also made some striped snakes (none were venomous), with their tongues sticking out and hissing... so of course we had to make a tongue for our bird... and our sweet little blue teddy bear. Bears hiss right?

We also made a beautiful green turtle.

Hooray for clay!

When You're the Best of Friends...

2008-01-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

These girls have something special. There have been a few feuds along the way... but I can hardly remember them. And they used to spend TONS of time together. Ella is only four months older than Izzy, so when they first moved to Texas and really became good friends, little Izzy was only sixteen months old (is this possible?) and Ella was four months shy of two years. Ella used to neglect to pronounce the first syllable of Isabel's name, so she'd call her "Abelle." Jen always said she didn't want "Belle" to be a nickname for Izzy, but she let this one go.

The Ries' were basically a family of siblings to Ella for about a year in Abilene. Sharing their toys, following the same rules, being babysat full time by Jen for a couple of months, or having their kids over at our house for childcare sometimes. Slumber parties with all four kids in a bed watching a movie. When we faced the reality of us moving to Washington in the Spring of 2006, we were all mostly sad for Izzy and Ella. Would their intimate connection last as they grew beyond the tender ages of 2 and 2 1/2 ? It was some of the saddest moments of my life to watch them say goodbye.

There was a year they spent apart when Izzy stayed in Texas with her family for a year while Ella moved with her family up to Washington. But eventually we all settled up in Washington again, and Isabel and Ella have rekindled their special connection.

When they see each other they hardly argue about anything, always defending the honor of the other one if there is a dispute or someone gets hurt. They love to kick the bigger kids out and have their own time together (usually playing with ponies or barbies in the bathtub). These girls are so precious and their little friendship is so cherished.

I'm so thankful for Ella's first best friend, Isabel Grace.

My Christmas Summary, Condensed

2008-01-07T00:54:00.001-08:00

We had a GREAT Christmas. Once again, I found some really cute discounted Christmas cards, and then wrote some nice messages to all those we love so much, and then couldn't find my address book. Perhaps I'll still like the same people next year and send it to them then... or maybe some very lucky friends of mine will get a Christmas card for Valentine's Day.

We had a wet, white Christmas. Okay, nothing stuck to the ground, but it snowed off and on all day and I managed to drag my family outside to take a good picture of it all. Thanks to Aaron's dad who took the picture. He's always up for an adventure. Even without the snow, Christmas as great. The highlight of the holidays was having the kids in their own house on Christmas Day opening all of their presents under the tree with their Grandparents there and Aunts and Uncles. No cousin Teagan this year though. Maybe next year when he's bigger and funner at Christmas time.

Miles mastered opening presents, and his favorite toys included a used cell phone all charged up for him to flip open and press beeping buttons (thoughtfully given by his cool Uncle Nolan). Another favorite for him to open were some dump trucks with beeping buttons and noises and things to maneuver, and also a squishy Cars pillow.

Ella is QUITE the pro with presents now, and a bit young to understand the idea of showing proper courtesy to the gift-giver (especially when she's hoping for a fabulous toy and only gets a new outfit instead. She was ready for TOYS this year. And her favorites were some Disney princess toys from both of her Grandmothers, and a sweet little battery operated kitty that walks and meows... my dear Grammy gave that to her (Ella's Great Grammy up in Lyle, Washington). Also, Gram got her a beautiful family of four horses (a Mommy, Daddy, and two babies--as all living things should be in Ella's world). She's showing the horses here in this picture. Merry Christmas to all!

Until Next Time...

2007-12-10T00:53:00.000-08:00

This is one of my many college roommates... not the first... not the last... but a very special one. (She's the mommy in the corner holding her beloved daughter, Anaiah Dawn.) Our parents didn't know each other growing up or anything. We had no reason to get along well when we first lived together. The guy I was with fell in love with her about one weekend before school started and we became roommates. She had a small, framed picture beside her computer with three small kids swinging. One happened to be the man I ended up falling in love with two years later in Texas.

She was a choir girl and sang in all of the small groups that good singers do. I was an athlete and played volleyball. She ended up getting pretty serious with this guy she stole from me and surprised me and several other friends after New Year's in 2000 with an engagement ring. I'll never forget that. We had a lot of fun that year. Pranks, snowboarding, Winter Formal, her Lingerie Shower, dressing up like hicks and singing "Fit as a fiddle" together... why didn't someone think to record those moments? I even wrote a song with another one of our roomies, Priscilla. We put it on our answering machine and even though it wasn't anything fantastic, it made me smile because it was about Aimee Jo. And I just liked her. All of the time.

I got to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Her husband, Andrew, ended up being a good friend of mine as well (and who can blame him for loving Aimee?). Andrew and I took a Missions class together with Stan Granberg and worked pretty seriously on a group project together with another friend of ours, Justin Bruner. I knew, I knew, that Andrew and Aimee would go to Africa someday.

It's happening today. It's not a visit or a survey trip any more. It's the real deal. All of their belongings are already there waiting. The plane tickets are purchased. She's been able to have some pretty satisfactory goodbyes with friends and family I think. I hope. The plane takes off today and I can't help imagining the nerves they must be dealing with... the lack of sleep from excitement and anxiety and the tremendous fear of the unknown.

It's hard because they just had their first baby. To see her blog with plenty of pictures, click here. She's only three months old, and everyone here wants to have her near. Anaiah will grow up to be able to tell her friends that she grew up in Uganda, Africa. The stories she'll have! I wonder if by then she'll come back to the states and go to Cascade College and meet up with my son Miles (only one year older).

I'm so so so proud of you Aimee Jo. I'm thrilled, I'm terrified, and at the same time I'm strengthened because of your courage. May God walk with you every step you take.

"Here's a story about my roommate named Aimee Jo.
Guy's like her, but one's got her, she's from Idaho.
Oh how I wish it could be so for one like me not from Idaho...
If you like girls from Portland--let me know."

Happy Birthday!

2007-12-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

I'm 29 years old now.

Yesterday was interesting. Our rental house flooded in the basement and the garage, causing us to unpacked soaked boxes that we had packed for moving. LONG story short, nothing was destroyed that I'm willing to cry over. But I do feel dreadfully sorry for our landlords. The basement has finally stopped filling... until it rains a few days in a row again.

Yesterday was fun. I went with my daughter to the antique stores down the hill in Kalama, and a florist shop. Ella got the following free things from ladies at the stores who thought she was "so well behaved" and "such a good little girl."
1. a helium balloon
2. a sucker
3. a miniature flocked Christmas Tree
4. a red carnation

I got the following things for free because it was my birthday:
1. half a dozen carnation (I chose dark red and light green)

I guess if I had been as well behaved as Ella I would have found myself owning more free stuff.

I spent $10 I got in the mail from Aaron's grandpa and Grandma (Miles's middle name is for Aaron's grandpa--Merrill). I bought a few extra things to add to my bouquet of carnations to make it complete, a beautiful pair of little handmade stone earrings, and a red potted house plant with green and red leaves--super duper pretty--called a Rex Begonia.

My friends Aris and Christy got me a lovely bar of organic clove smelling soap, and a fun necklace from World Market. Aaron's parents and sister Bethany and her husband Chris gave me a gift card to spend on home decorations for our new house at Fred Meyer. My mom got me an array of kitchen things (paper towel stand, nice silicone utensils, garlic press, kitchen towels) for the new house. Ella and Miles got me two new necklaces and some earrings.

I got some nice cards in the mail, some e-cards, some "happy birthday" shout outs on facebook, and a couple of phone calls from Jen Ries and Megan Metcalf.

But the grand prize was from my husband. He thought it out, shopped for months, and will be paying it off for thirty years...

1. our first house

Moving

2007-12-01T00:20:00.000-08:00

So we're buying this house.

It feels like it isn't real though. We're hoping to close the deal this next week. And even amidst all of the packed boxes, barren walls, and a dozen gallons of paint sitting in the back of my van patiently waiting to be spread thin on my new house's walls.... it just doesn't seem like it's really going to happen. I drive by it, and it's so cute, but somewhere in the back of my mind I can't picture us in it. It's just so unbelievable that we're making this purchase!

We got a "new" table from the Ries's that has a leaf in it, and thus fits more people around it... so our smaller one without a leaf had to go. It was one of the first things we bought when we got married. The $400 table and the $400 bed. They were good purchases. Responsible purchases. Needed purchases. And now we're so sad because the table sold on Craigslist within a few hours after we posted it!

(This is a picture of our beloved first table.) We loved it so much we started thinking we should just give it away for free. But then the buyer came growling up our driveway in an enormous, fully loaded and freakin' awesome fancy truck and we decided she could part with our meager request of $75 for our used table and chairs.

Now we're trying to figure out who might want to buy a sewing machine table that I've never used. We got it at a garage sale a while ago, but I just never have had the time or desire to take all of its parts out and figure out how to get it all set up. It's got a buttonholer, a zigzagger, and a whole box of extra little parts to do other fancy things like zippers and stuff. I just was hoping to make some simple curtains one day perhaps.

Anyway, I'll post the picture here. Maybe someone who reads my blog has a clue about sewing machines and if it's worth $100 or $30 or $1000. It's a Singer model 690.

On a different note, we've just purchased our first major appliances and are hoping for a good run with all of them. I hate having buyer's remorse, so I always make myself feel good after a major purchase (like a fridge, washer, and dryer--all Energy Star qualifying appliances I'm happy to announce). But I never know what to do about warranties. Do I buy a three year warranty? I mean these things all come with a manufacturer's one year warranty, so why am I worried about year two and year three? I'm thinking if a washer and dryer and fridge last one year without a problem, they should last ten years without a problem. Especially high end appliances... right?

Has anyone hung with me on this post?

WHACK!

2007-11-17T22:30:00.002-08:00

Play by play:
Miles dips his foot in the dog water dish. Mom is coming after him. Miles sees the imminent danger of Mom marching toward him. Miles makes a mad dash (as fast as a 2 foot tall baby can go) out of the kitchen. He loses his footing on the floor that is now slopping wet from his own blunder of playing in the water. Then, WHACK! He almost falls. He brilliantly catches himself with his head against the door frame. Ouch!

And this is his profile shot... can you see the lump of flesh protruding from his head? Grody.

Blue

2007-11-05T22:10:00.001-08:00

This is our new dog! His name is "Blue." He has blue eyes, although they look red in this picture... you'll see in others that they are the most beautiful blue. He is a tri-colored Australian Shepherd and is about seven months old. He's potty trained and leash trained and GREAT with all people and children and other animals.

It was hard to meet him and other dogs and think about Annie and how we miss her. I cried and cried the night we met Blue because I had to decide to let myself love another dog again. It's hard, but it's a lesson of life that I should be mature enough to accept. So I'm trying to remember Annie in loving and fond ways, while moving on and allowing myself to love another dog again.

It'll take time... I'm still not over Annie. I miss her terribly. It's bittersweet having a new dog around... I liked waking up to Annie under my feet by the side of my bed because I always knew that Annie wouldn't move suddenly beneath me as I stepped over her in the middle of the night when Miles was crying for me. What will Blue do? Nip me? Jump up? Lay somewhere else and get stepped on for a while until I get used to his spot? Probably.

But I find that I'm mostly delighted with Blue. He's doing really well right now. I wonder how long it'll take him to adjust to us being his new people. We adopted him through Craigslist in Vancouver. His owner loved him but felt like she wasn't giving him the life he deserved with lots of exercise and attention. So that's what we're really good at giving a pet right now. I'm home a lot and Aaron's great at giving a dog an active lifestyle.

He's SO beautiful and soft, and very affectionate--but not a licker. He just likes to be petted and sometimes to sit on a willing lap. The kids love him (mostly). Ella likes that he slept in her room last night, and she got to pick out his ID tag (a red heart). Miles likes to lay his head on his soft fur. Bot the kids like having another playmate. And Blue likes the kids. He's very sweet, letting Miles steal his bone while he chews on it, and letting Ella be a tiger with him (my daughter has an obsession with pretending to be a tiger). And Aaron--well Aaron's in heaven right now because he had an Australian Shepherd as his childhood dog, and LOVES this dog already. So welcome to the family Blue!

We're Melting

2007-10-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

I am rarely offended by a bumper sticker. I usually enjoy the sarcasm and the playfulness in them. But I was so pained by one this week. It bewildered me. It left me feeling like I possibly misunderstood it... because certainly no one would think it was a good idea to have a bumper sticker that said this: "MY CARBON FOOTPRINT IS BIGGER THAN YOURS."

I don't do everything I can to cut back on my energy consumption. But I'm making small steps. I don't like lights to be left on that aren't being used. I don't leave things running like the heater or the DVD player rooting, or a fan in the bathroom. I use cold water for laundry, etc. etc. I don't do everything I could... but I'm evolving. I'm learning new ways to continue to cut back on the carbon footprint I leave on the earth. I'm trying.

So when I see bumper stickers like that one, I feel like my small efforts have been erased. They are unnoticed, basically snuffed out.

I watched "An Inconvenient Truth" on DVD with Aaron last night and it's haunting me a little bit. It's presented in a bipartisan effort to inform the world about global warming. It's just undeniable that there is a significant problem forming for the earth, and I was really moved to want to do something about it.

I care about a lot of looming issues like this, but I am surprised at how this isn't a "cause." It's nothing you donate money to. It's not something you "beleive in." It's for Democrats and Republicans alike. It's for every nation on earth. And it's just a matter of changing our habits to live in a more responsible manner.

Fifty years from now I want to tell Ella and Miles and their children that I spent most of my life aware of the reality and gravity of global warming, and that I did what I could to be responsible with the world we live in.

Check out this link and download the ten things you can do to make a difference in global warming. If the terminology is too foreign, you should rent the DVD from Blockbuster. It's a must for people who read my blog. Comment and tell me if you've seen it or not, and what you're doing to make a change.

Happy Happilene!

2007-10-22T22:44:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of Ella and Annie when we FIRST got her. I think it was the first time we brought her home. Keep in mind Ella was only five months older than Miles is now... Annie was so little!

Thanks for everything nice and comforting that was said to us the past two weeks since Annie died. We are healing. We're sad sometimes, but much better. We still really like to talk about her... though it's hard, it's helpful. Ella is fine. Very resilient. She has big plans to get a "white dog, big cat and a small cat." This is never going to happen. But she's got big plans... a part of healing I suppose.

But on to other things... like the holidays!
Last year Ella was only about to turn 3 years old when Halloween came. SEVERAL months before Halloween, we had moved to Washington from Abilene, Texas... it must have been fresh on her mind though because she couldn't say "Happy Halloween" right. It always came out, "Happy Happilene!" Some sort of combination of "Halloween" and "Abilene" I guess.

Another good combo she's got going (which we've all adapted to) is calling hand sanitizer "Hanitizer." This is really just a good habit for everyone to get into. It cuts out the ridiculous amount of time it takes to say the syllable "san," and also the letter "d" in "hand." It's genius really.

We're going to the pumpkin patch tomorrow and I'm thrilled about the kids costumes this year. I can't wait to get it all up on my blog for family to see. :)

Good Girl

2007-10-09T15:11:00.001-07:00

Our beautiful dog was hit by a car yesterday.

Although the driver stopped, and Annie managed to climb back up our hill and get inside the house to her favorite spot in front of our couch, she was in a terrible state of shock.

We got her to an ER and we were faced with the horrible realization that we'd need to spend thousands of dollars to make her well, with surgeries and recovery... or she'd need to be put down. We couldn't bear her to live an inactive and sedentary life. We didn't feel responsible spending so much money on her. We knew her life was done.

It felt right, but wrong, but right. She was in such bad condition.

It wasn't the way I wanted her to go. I was so afraid she felt like she was in trouble for running in the street. I helped her up the steps when she came wabbling up... she fell and couldn't make it any more since one leg wasn't working. And I remember saying, "It's okay." I wanted her to feel good... to feel loved and approved of.

She was sedate and calm and began letting out small whines when she saw us. They brought her to us on a stretcher and we touched her and petted her soft fur. She was so soft.

We said, "Good girl, Annie. Good girl." We stroked her snout, handled her ears, kissed her and whispered to her. We wept.
It only took a few seconds for her heart to stop after they injected her. She was gone. But our house still feels her. We still hear her, feel her. I still stepped wide away from the bed when I got up this morning. She always slept on the floor by me.

We buried her in Aaron's parent's backyard. She loved being at that house, and they loved to have her. Ella helped dig the hole, said her goodbye's, covered her up with her favorite blanket, tossed dog treats down for her, and then covered her up with dirt. She said, "When I die, I'm just going to run to her in heaven." Me too.

V is for...

2007-10-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

I picked Ella up from preschool yesterday when she promptly informed me in the car that we had to go to the store to get a potato. The conversation continued...

"We have to get a potato for Potato Day," she said informatively. Ella is a good listener and picks up on the smallest of instructions. I knew she must be right, and that there was probably a real reason we needed a potato. So I began to steer the car toward the store on our journey home from preschool.
I inquired, "Do we need to get a potato because it's Vegetable Week? Aren't you learning about the letter 'V' this week? And Vvvvegetable starts with 'V'," I say equally informatively (exaggerating my 'V' sound).

"Oh," she says, "yah."

Then I mention some various vegetables and suggest which one she might enjoy the best for her to pick out (lettuce is her favorite vegetable right now), and she responds obligingly.
From the back of the car I hear her say to her brother, "Miles, can you say, 'Vvv, vvv, vvv, Potato?'"

I interject, "Do you mean, "Vvv, vvv, vvv, Vegetable?"

"Mom, I'm just talking to Miles."

"Sorry. You're doing great."

Happy First Birthday Miles!

2007-09-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

Miles and his good friend Amelia... who sometimes scares the wits out of him... but he loves her none the less. She got him some hip looking pants for his birthday.

"MMM"
(These are Miles' initials as well as his favorite sound to utter)
A Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake made by Albertson's Bakery (with a "Cars" movie kit on it).

Chocolate cupcakes made by Mommy.

Miles must be saying "Thank you!" here, as he always has such good manners.

Thank you Grandpa and Grandma for letting us use your house for his first birthday party. And thank you guests for coming!

Flight of the Conchords - Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

2007-09-21T17:54:00.001-07:00

Aaron introduced me to these guys. I love it.

Ella and Grandpa at the water

2007-09-12T08:27:00.000-07:00

Back in the Basket KITTY!

2007-09-11T20:40:00.001-07:00

Our new puppy Annie (two and a half years ago)

2007-09-11T16:44:00.001-07:00

Ellla at 18 months...

2007-09-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

Pre Preschool

2007-09-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today Ella visited Preschool for a practice run. Ella's first official day is Tuesday, the 11th, but today was really it for her. It's Visitation Day (not to be confused with some kind of apocalyptic dooms day). Parents can stay or you can go. Whatever your want to do for your child.

I thought she'd want me to stay because she's been talking about being "kind of scared" and obsessing over the fact that there would be boys that might sit by her (Yuck!). But she wanted me to go. Pretty cool.

I had a moment of crisis (sort of) when she insisted that she wear a crown to preschool. She got this crown from Pam last night. Pam's a kindergarten teacher who gave her the crown as a cool thing for her going to preschool... but Ella took this seriously and figured she HAD to wear it. I tried to sweetly suggest it wouldn't be fair that no one else had crowns... no luck. I planted a seed in her brain that she might look a little bit dressy with a crown because people usually just wore shorts and T-shirts or jeans to preschool... forget it.

Finally she took it off right as we got out of the car because it was making her head itch... I said, "Oh yeah! You don't want to get red sores on your head because of that itchy crown." Done.

We walked up to the front door of the school, and as I opened the door I had to let go of her hand. Then after we walked through the door she walked ahead of me. I asked her if she wanted to hold my hand, or if she was okay... she said, "No, I'm just okay." I fear this is symbolic of the rest of her life... Ella being ready to let go before I thought it was going to happen.

We wandered down to her classroom (last one at the end of a small hallway) and her teacher, a VERY sweet Mrs. Anderson, was standing there. I said, "Ella this is your teacher, Mrs. .... " Ella had slid by Mrs. Anderson and went straight into the room, wandering around the play dough table, and on to the dinosaur table where she lingered for a moment.

I talked to her teacher for a second, and then hovered in the back of the room with other parents for about two minutes. I asked if I could take her picture, and of course all the moms broke out their cameras too. Kind of funny. Her teacher asked to take her jacket for her and Ella said, "You know, my GRANDMA got me this jacket in THE MAIL!"

Then she walked confidently up to a girl and said "My name is Ella" with her sweet smile on her face and slow moving mannerisms. I was so proud of her!

She then got a necklace with her name on it (just for the first week of school) and sat down to play with a doll house and Cinderella carriage. A girl beamed at her and began sharing toys with Ella. Ella of course greatly appreciated the sharing of toys and they played for a second.

Eventually (5 minutes into the Visitation Day) I took her picture playing, but I could hardly get her to look at me because she was barely aware of anything other than the toys. I asked her if she wanted me to go and come back when she was done with school, or if she wanted me to stay. She said, "You can go."

A kiss goodbye, off I went. Okay, I lingered for a moment in the hallway. I was just super curious to see if she could POSSIBLY be any cuter, and what kind of fun she would have... but I left.

I was fine actually. Just super duper duper excited for her.

Came back in an hour, Aaron met me there, and we picked her up. She told us sadly she didn't get to do a snack or use crayons today. That's for the next time when she has her real first day. But she did get to see a tiny little tiger (a highlight of her day--not sure what that was though), and play on the playground. She LOVED it.

Once we got home I told her what we were doing tomorrow, and she said, "But you're wrong. You forgot I have to go to school!" I had to explain it's only Tues. Thurs. Obviously she's in love.

(I adapted this from an email I sent to my friends and family yesterday. Most of them are probably the only readers of this blog, but I am recording it here with photos for posterity's sake.)

The Office

2007-09-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if this will work. If it does... now you know what Aaron and I do with our evenings. We watch Michael and Dwight, Jim and Pam, Jan, Phyllis, Roy, Ryan, etc. on DVD... season three is out now.

Mmmmmmm...

2007-08-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

My son likes to eat our dog. She doesn't mind. But Miles always has a few indicting black dog hairs sticking out of his mouth or clinging to his chin. Yuck.

Bunny Visits The Great Northwest

2007-08-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Miles was a trooper on our way to our many destinations last week. It's tough work being buckled in all the time! Bunny would keep him entertained from the back seat. Isn't he handsome?

Ella and Bunny...
Or should I say "Tiger" and Bunny? My daughter has a knack for shaming people when they call her by her name. You say, "Oh, hi Ella," and she says, "I'm not Ella! I a tiger! Tiger's can't talk!" Duh.

Ella's read for the Ape Caves at Mt. Saint Helens with her Dora cap and new head lamps on that Bunny got her.

Bunny, Ella, me, Aaron, and Miles in the Ape Caves. It was DARK and cold. Ella did well... not nervous or overwhelmed until the very end of hiking for about a mile. She said, with trembling vocals, "I think I just want to get out of here." Amazingly, the stairs appears at the end of our flashlights beams at that exact moment. Then we saw light. Phew!

I'm furious that this photo is on its side. There is no explanation for it. DON'T try to tell me how to fix it. I'm too mad for simple solutions. Anyway, this is Bunny and Ella at the Oregon Zoo feeding a Lorakeet. It did NOT scratch and crawl up Ella's arm this time. But, as you can see, Ella remembers the last time it happened and is ready for a Judo Chop!

Miles and me at the beach. The Oregon Coast was sunny, slightly warm, and clear. Miles liked the sand... and digested it well.

Whoohoo! I have such a hot husband. Aaron grilled us up some awesome dinners every night. He does this all of the time though. I burn everything, which is a great way to get out of having to cook dinner. Anyway, you might notice our amazing view of the Columbia off our back deck. It's priceless. (You may also be wondering why there's a tattoo of a trumpet on Aaron's shoulder... and of course you're wondering where you can get your own... Painless Rick's in Camus, Washington, and it's an original design by Nancy Love.

Hope you enjoyed my pictures of Bunny's visit to the Northwest! It was so nice to see her. She is a special person to our family and we loved having her here to reunite with Ella and meet Miles. Anyone else want to visit? I'm taking reservations.

Four Long Months

2007-08-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

That's how long it's been since I've posted on my blog. Yikes! I'm back though. And I have good excuses for not posting for so long... but I'll save the space and not mention them.

I saw Ryan Woods at the Outback the other night when Aaron and I were out for our 5th Anniversary. I couldn't help but think that I knew private and secret things about
Ryan because I'd read his blog (though not very faithfully). So I reminded myself that it was okay for me to read what Ryan posted. After all, he wrote that stuff--as all bloggers do--on the World Wide Web.

However, when I rarely comment, and yet continue to read someone's blog, I begin to feel as though I'm reading a series of "Reply All" emails between a group of friends, in which I wasn't originally intended to be included.

So if you're hanging with my blog now that I'm back, feel free to drop a comment once or twice. At least that way others who comment will know who's reading with them.

Here's a quick zoo photo. Miles wants the bird, the birds wants the food in my hand, and I desperately want Bunny (my friend taking the picture) to catch my son before he leaps out of my arms.

Good to be back my friends... more about my zoo trip later.

XOXO, Chezam

The New Ella

2007-04-21T20:38:00.001-07:00

She got her hair cut folks! She almost had enough to donate to Locks of Love! But we chose to keep it at her neck, and not her ears.

Before...

After...

I forgot a camera for the actual event... but we had a camera phone at least. She liked getting her hair washed and mainly was interested in all the toys she saw there. We went to Kids Kuts in Gresham. Chantel cut her hair. It was great. I'm so in love with her little short haircut! It'll look different once the little rubberbands are out of it, but I liked that too.

If any one is considering getting their little one's hair cut... no matter how small... just do it. I think it's so important that Ella not find her identity in her hair. Cut it, color it, buzz it, grow it, whatever. It's just hair. It grows back and it's a reflection of you as best as you can portray it. And although Ella's long flowing hair was a reflection of who she was as a little girl... this is now a way to portray herself as a big girl.

And actually, I'm surprised by how she hardly notices it... and how it hardly makes her look different to me.

As for Miles, he's already got a haircut by yours truly, several times.

Family

2007-04-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

We sure love each other. Don't you love your family? I mean everyone has crazy relatives and crazy in-laws (except me if any one in Aaron's family is reading this). But until our children become older, middle schoolers or teenagers perhaps, we all love each other without question. It's a time that I think I'll look back on in twenty years with great delight. I'll forget the exact emotions of waking up frustrated with a crying baby, and I won't remember the anger and rolling my eyes at the excuses of a toddler wanting to get out of bed at bedtime.
I like to think I'll remember their giggles... the sounds of their voices and the mispronunciations that I love so dearly. I like to think this is a great time. A time of youth and unconditional love from my children that won't last forever. Some day in the future we'll have family fights, and we'll recover, but we won't keep our innocence we have now.

Thank God for our innocence. I hope to enjoy it for today.

Aaahhh, Easter...

2007-04-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

Ella had a fun Easter. It was a good old fashioned day with a great Sunday at church, a killer sermon about the resurrection, family gathered together, a ridiculously easy egg hunt, way too much sugar for a 30 pound 3 year old, and a dog that systematically opened each plastic egg in Ella's basket and weeded out every dilectable bite of chocolate at 4am while the family slept like fools.

I am certian there is no resurrection for animals and this is okay with me.

They LOOK like sweet little angels...

2007-03-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

Can you keep a secret? From a three-year-old I mean. I want to share a story about the difficulties of disciplining a toddler, but I feel my little girl doesn't need any more humiliation or reminders of her mistakes. So here's the agreement: pretend you don't know this story when you next see or speak to my kid. And then when she's an obstinant teenager, remind her for me. Agreed?

So it was my fault we were running late as we zoomed down our driveway. I handed my daughter her "breakfast" (a banana) as I rode the breaks all the way down the hill we live on and then accellerated onto the freeway. It was 9:40. I was already ten minutes late. I was taking my kids to MOMs (a group of moms that meet every Wednesday in Vancouver, a half hour away from my house). I like going to this group because I get to see friends and be free from my kids for about two hours while they're just around the corner in a super fun play area that's well structured with puppet shows and lessons and snacks and games. Ella loves it. Usually. Miles is indifferent. Always.

So Miles was cooperative. Ella... well, Ella was not.

I walked around the kids area with her for at least 10 minutes trying to get her to be comfortable. We have this agreement where assure her "I won't leave until you're comfortable" and she gives me the "eye" while I sit back and wait impatiently for her to hurry up and get comfortable. She usually does fine. Today she did not. She never got a chance to work into a full fledged fit, because I kept seeing it coming and I avoided it at all costs. I picked her up. I sat with her. I talked to her about how much fun puppets are. I oohed and aahed over the yummy snacks she consumed. But she wouldn't release me. I was becoming annoyed to say the least.

Finally I gave her the wonderful option of just going out into the foyer of this big church building and letting Gram watch her. Gram is my mom... her grandmother. Gram is the office manager/church secretary at this grand church. Ella loves, LOVES, staying there while I go to doctor's appointments, shopping, or even to MOMs groups. She's done it dozens of times before, and on a pretty regular basis. But she refused. "I... think... I... just... want... to... go... with... youuuuuuu." (I then bellow audible groans and inaudible profanities as she tries to climb onto my lap with her eyes welling up with tears.)

I've suddenly become furious. And the anger is rising and gaining control of me at an incredible rate of speed. In the next fifteen seconds the measure of my fury doubles and quadruples at exponential speeds until I finally give her the final ultimatum: Go to the big kids class, Go to the baby class with Miles, Go with Gram, ("which no other kids here get to do," I say enticingly), or GO HOME.

Which do you think she chooses? ""I... think... I... just... want... to... go... with... youuuuuuu." Bad decision.

I snap. I tell her to hold still and wait with Gram as I stomp into the nursery and buckle Miles hastily into his carseat. I snatch his diaper bag and briskly walk by Ella as I begin to depart the building. She follows quickly behind me. I wave goodbye at Gram. I keep saying things that I'm sure will make Ella change her mind and realize I mean it when I say we'll leave if she can't cooperate. She's pleased to leave though. So I have to make her world fall apart in other ways.

You see, I needed her to know that her choices affect other people (affect, effect... I argue with my husband about whether it's and "e" or "a" needed her). And I wasn't going to let her tear up and cry just to get her way and sit on my lap. She's big enough to stay with the big kids and be comfortable. She just didn't want to cooperate with me. She just wanted what she wanted.

I begin to cry in the car because I'm devestated. I got up early, scrambled around the house getting hair done, clothes on, diapers changed, children nursed and fed, diaper bags prepared, and drove for 35 minutes to Vancouver to see friends and be without my kids for two hours. And it fell to pieces. I turned the radio off and gave her a lecture. "Your choices affect other people" I told her. "Now I don't get to see my friends" I said. "I didn't even get to say hi to Gram. I didn't even get to eat brunch and wave hello to my friends. Miles didn't get to play with his friends. And you didn't get to either." I told her I was sad and felt really frustrated with her. I told her I wanted to trust her to cooperate with me when I go places, and that she didn't do a good job today.

"No cartoons or candy today" I said. "You've lost your privileges today."

I went to McDonalds and ordered two cookies and ate them in the car while she drooled and watched me chew and savor and swallow them alone. I'm harsh.

So these pictures.... yeah, they're the typical cute way my kids always look... but DON'T BE DECEIVED! Sometimes one, even both, can really be a devil.

Where's Adam?

2007-02-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

Somehow, even after a tragic death, life has to continue... but it's a mystery to experience how it does. It's been two weeks since a friend, Adam Langford, died in an accident in Uganda, Africa. And just as soon as his funeral was over, his body lowered six feet into the ground, I felt like a traitor for taking care of the day-to-day chores of being a mom. But this is how children grieve, and this is a part of moving on--even though moving on isn't what I was planning to do. I just wanted to remain in disbelief. Disbelief makes things a little less real and somehow makes me feel a rush of adrenaline as I reveiw the events of Adam's death in my mind. The phone call, the sobbing and wailing, the explanation to my daughter, the news given to other friends over the phone, the tremendous grief, the tears, etc. But now disbelief has passed and I long for it to return because reality is so much harsher. Reality makes my eyes dart away from Adam's picture covering the program from his funeral service that we've posted on my refridgerater beneath a magnet. Reality makes my mind wander at indiscriminate moments to the color of Adam's coffin, the description of his injuries, and the sounds of Ugandan soil and dirt tumbling from fists hovering over his coffin in the earth. Reality sucks.

And the strangest part of it all is that reality is what ultimately keeps me up at night in confusion. Reality has been the hardest thing to understand. Because even though I'm a Christian and I believe in a crazy event to come in the existence of this world called The Resurrection--where all people will be risen from the dead and made fully alive in Christ--I just don't get it. I don't get where in the world Adam is now. What happened to him when his heart stopped beating? What happened when there were no brain waves left? What happened as his body lost heat and became cold? Did he see heaven? Did he see his family mourn? Did he see his funeral? Why do I find myself saying inaudible words to Adam as though he can hear my thoughts? Isn't that a little ridiculous?

For the life of me, I can't figure death out. And sometimes it seems like we're all just living to die. So I better either start living better and fuller and with more meaning and urgency, or I might as well just hurry up and die. Anyone know what I'm talking about out there?

Sugar Pop

2006-12-07T10:17:00.000-08:00

What is it with cutsie little nicknames that people get so jazzed about? When Aaron and I started dating it was a strange moment in time when he called me "Honey" one day. I couldn't tell if he was being comical or seriously wanted to use that as a name for me. Then it kind of stuck with me and we started using dozens of lovey dovey nicknames. To name a few: Honey, Hon, Dear, Sugar, Babes, Babe, Sweety, and Lovely Lady.

I just used to hate these names. But somehow when the right name comes out of the right mouth, it melts me. For instance, sometimes Ella calls me "Babe" if I'm not listening to her. She got this from Aaron, and it cracks us up to hear it. But of course, I'd prefer to hear it from him. It doesn't make me melt to hear it from Ella, it's just funny. But when Aaron calls me Babe, I love it.

My Sophomore year at Cascade College a really strange dude named Bob was well known for falling in love with just about any girl he could lay his eyes on. He fell in love with me once. He wrote me a poem in fact and addressed it to me using the title "To My Sheltering Angel." Needless to say, this was the wrong name and it definitely came out of the wrong mouth. I wish I still had this poem, but it had to be destroyed due to my lack of trust with my roommate Sarah Sackewitz (McCarthy).

Now then, when we first had our daughter Ella, Aaron and I found ourselves saying things to her like "Sugar Plum" and "Squeeker" and "Hootchem Squatchem." It just made sense and naturally flowed from our mouths. And now it has become natural to use names like "Tooter" and "Muscles" for our nicknames for Miles. Every so often others pop out that we can't explain. It just comes naturally as a parent.

For a while I called Miles "Baby" just because it felt sweet and precious to me. But now I'm in love with calling him "Sugar Pop." It's just his name. Ella was my Sugar Plum and then other variations of that name. And now Miles has become my Sugar Pop (and sometimes Sugar Bear).

Just thought you'd all like to know.

What names does your significant other call you (that are rated 'G') or your parents or your friends? Share them with me. :)

more pics for fun

2006-10-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

He's Here!

2006-09-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Mommy and Miles.

Daddy and Miles.

Miles is one happy boy!

Ella is the first to come in and spend a moment with Miles. She sang "Jesus Loves Me" and was delighted when he held her finger.

Well, he's here folks! And to say the least, we're overwhelmed with love and joy. It's so hard to let the days pass by as though time were normal... because it's not normal when you're in a euphoria of emotions and "moments" that you know you'll forget, and yet somehow remember in the recesses of your mind forever. It's crazy. I'm all hormones right now. It's nuts.

So Tara wins! September 19th. He was officially born at 6:54pm, vaginally (horray!) and without a single complication or problem. Much unlike Ella's birth in so many ways, it's like starting over almost.

I'm doing well, I wish I could tell the whole story to everyone, as all mothers treasure their birth stories, but it's probably best not to post it on the internet. I suppose a little discretion never hurt anyone. But if you want to try to catch me at home, or with an extra hand to answer my cell phone when it rings, and you know my number, call me.

Love to all!

The Closest Bidder, Without Going Over...

2006-09-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

How 'bout a friendly little wager, all your bloggers out there?

My due date for Miles Merrill Metcalf is coming up, it's really just around the corner. It's September 21st. In fact, if one were to bet on when I actually deliver Miles, you'd have a 1 in 26 chance of being correct. And of course, theoretically, the closer to my due date you choose to wager, the more likely your chances of being correct. This statistic is based on the logic that I have 12 days until due date, then another 14 days of waiting for him to come if he's late. Then my Midwife will finally induce by breaking my bag of waters. If Miles is indeed two weeks late (which is pretty unlikely), the reason she won't induce sooner is because I've had a previous C-Section and they don't want to use Pitocin to induce my labor due to the risk of my uterus rupturing. Now then, for those of you that followed all of my brillians logic, here is my proposal...

All who comment on this post are agreeing to the terms below:

1. By commenting on this post, you are agreeing to enter the Price Is Right blogging game of Miles' Birth Date.

2. By entering this game, you understand that you must post a "bid" in your comment section. The "bid" must be a date and time that is your best estimate of Miles Merrill Metcalf's birth date. It must include month, date, year, and exact time (i.e. September 21, 2006 at 5:30PM). Don't forget to designate AM or PM.

3. Upon posting your comment, and placing your "bid" (or best gut feeling for Miles' birth date), you then agree to be bound to owe me, Chelan Joelle Metcalf, the sum of $1.00 if your bid is incorrect, and owe me NOTHING if you are the winner of the competition.

4. In order to be the winner, you must bid correct, WITHOUT GOING OVER. If your bid is September 21, 2006 at 12:00AM, and Miles is born at 11:59PM on September 20... you've overbid. Sorry!

5. The winner will receive... Drumroll please... everyone's sincere respect and overall impressed disposition. And maybe even some fun bloggers who choose to send you $1.00 for winning. However, note rule number #6 below.

6. Finally, if you don't win the Price Is Right blogging game of Miles' Birth Date, and you owe me $1.00... you can apply for an economic hardship deferment and owe nothing. :)

I will try to post a picture of my Staypuff Marshmellow self tonight on this blog, but I cannot guarantee my wireless connection, which I leech off of my neighbors through our house walls, will allow me to do any fancy pictures.

Any questions? Let the games begin!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moving

2006-08-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

It's happening. It's finally here. Just shy of three months of homelessness, we're finally moving our smooshed boxes and discheveled possessions into our very own rental home. It's super cute, it's a great location with a wonderful view of the Columbia River, and best of all IT'S JUST US LIVING THERE!

I am certain we'll take plenty of pictures and I'll post them all over this blog once I'm settled in. I'm planning on settling quickly, in a timely manner, considering due date is quickly approaching for little Miles. His due date is less than a month away, and yet because I've had a c-section with Ella, they don't like to give Pitocin for induction, so if he's late... he's just late and we wait. Nothing to be done about it. I'm fearing this horrible 42 week delivery date. We'll see.

I feel as big as a moose, but not as large as my friend Christy was at this exact time. She delivered her twins (6.3 and 5 pounds) at this exact time in her pregnancy and her tummy looked like a comedic prop or something. Like someone was on stage telling jokes somewhere and had a large beach ball stuff up an XL shirt just waiting to tell some funny joke and pop it out. Everyone laughing, etc. But it was actualy human beings in her! Anyway, poor Christy, all I'm saying is I don't have THAT much to complain about.

I'm trying to set up water/sewer/garbage, PUD, phone, PO Box, Drivers Licensing, and Auto Registration for our new home. It ain't fun. It ain't easy. But am I complaining? Hardly. I have a new home!

Can't wait to share the pics.

xoxo all my lovely readers.

My many mistakes

2006-08-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

So Jen is right, I'm not up to date with my blog. It's disgraceful. I also have not answered my phone any of the times Jen has tried to call me. I've also not added any other photos to my blog since wonderful Linzie sent me a USB cord from New Zealand. I'm pitiful. Loathful. Spiteful. It's despicable. (It's possible, although I am a fairly well educated person, I've misspelled one of those adjectives, and this too is pathetic.)

However, I will attempt to change my ways. Here, I shall now tell you about my current life.

It's our 4th wedding anniversary today! We're having Rhonda Bordine watch Ella with her sweet kids and then take her to Awesome August for the evening (a VBS thing at East County Church of Christ in Gresham) to meet up with Grandma. We're going to go to Powell's Books downtown and enjoy talking, reading, sipping drinks in the coffee shop, etc. then exhange gifts and have dinner at Gustov's. I haven't been there before, and a fun German restaurant sounded nice to us. I'm going to lap up some scrumptous cheese fondu I think. Yum!

Today is also the marker of finishing 34 weeks of pregnancy in fine, perfect health. Miles is still violent inside of me and stomping around on major organs like my lungs, and bladder, and I swear it seems my heart sometimes. I'm extremely interested to see if he's strong and boisterous as a baby--the way he's been in the womb. Or if he'll be a calm little guy like Ella. I'm sure you all will understand I love my daughter whether or not she's tough or whimpy... thus, I will just say honestly right now that she's always been pretty darned whimpy. But that my friends is a whole other blog.

Anyhoo, recently my friends Christy and Aris Vartanian had their first kids born (three weeks old today!), Jake and Amelia. I was pretty consumed with wanting to see them all the time, and now I'm much more patient about it. But they are so sweet, and although great little babies, they're a handful to take care of. Christy has her maternity leave still, and has another nine weeks, but Aris is going back to work Monday I believe. So I wish I could just help her out all week long, but soon we are actually going to be living in our own residence, and not in Troutdale/Vancouver/wherever anymore!

It's true, we have a rental house that is reserved for us to move in at the latest possible date of August 29th. It could easily be earlier, but we're not getting our hopes up. So we'll move in the 29th or 30th maybe, I'll unpack like the mad woman that I am, and then I'll have a baby. My due date is September 21st, so just about three weeks after we move our boxes in. Hopefully I'll get everything squared away for Ella's room to be cozy, familiar and comfortable for her, put away all of Miles' baby things, and figure out what to add to our registry at Target, and then have a baby shower on the 9th, and deliver him any day he wants to come after that. It'd be great if he could come maybe one week early because pregnancy in the final month isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I also just want a healthy guy to be born on time and at a great weight, etc. So we'll see.

So Christy and another friend Rici are going to throw Miles a baby shower! I'm really excited about it. I've started up a little registry at Target.com, but I'm feeling like I should get into a real store and register so that it's easier for people to shop. If you register online you end up with a lot of stuff on your registry that people can't actually purchase in stores. And I like to buy from the store when I shop from registries, so I'm assuming other people do too. And of course, the reason for this is because I don't get a gift for a shower until about one hour before the party. This sort of timing doesn't work for online shipping, etc.

Jennifer has just called and I am actually here, hearing her voice, while finishing my blog. How serendipitous.

Miss you Jen!

2006-07-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

I got my wisdom teeth pulled today. About three hours ago. My skin is still numb, and possibly a bit of my mouth, but mostly I'm feeling things well. Which sucks. I'm a little grossed out by the cavernous abyss that now occupies the four corners of my precious mouth. Ouch. I'm soaking up blood every hour with gauze packing. Gross.

I am happy to report, however, that I received a USB cable to connect my digital camera to my laptop and download our plentiful photos from the past month... now I can post them on my blog! Yippee! This is thanks to our dear friend Linzie Bessent, currently doing mission work in New Zealand. I can't believe all I really had to do was go to a local Target and pick one up, but instead I had to have a friend send me one from New Zealand. I'm a lazy, cheap bum.

Finally before I sign off, I should state that I'm posting this fun photo of Jen and I to let you all know I'd really appreciate her help right now while I'm sucking down blood and twitching from flashbacks of pliers yanking bone from my gums. I know she'd watch Ella for me and find something yummy and soft and palatable for my teeth for dinner tonight and feed my family. I just know it. Miss you Jen!

For those of you who've had your wisdom teeth pulled, does it get worse before it gets better? Or am I through the worst?

No picture... but it's still a post!

2006-07-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

We are here, we've gone camping, we've gone downtown, we've gone shopping, we've taken tons of pictures... and now we're kind of slowing down. It's been so strange to believe that we're permanent residents again of the Northwest. We have had a hard time not feeling like we're on vacation. But it's all starting to soak in one way or another.

We still haven't moved to Longview completely. We have a house we want SO badly, but we're waiting for the current tenants to move out. It's a rental with a decent rent price, allows our dog to live there, a fenced in back yard, new looking fixtures and appliances and carpet and paint inside, and a GREAT neighborhood next to a lake in the center of the town. I'm estimating we have another two weeks until we can move in. I hope it's not prolonged any further. It's worth the wait I think though. I'm resisting sending any pictures to anyone until we have confirmation that these people are really actually going to move out some time soon.

We went camping last night, just the three of us, at Green Canyons on the Salmon River up past Sandy off Highway 26 (for those of you out there who know the area). It was beautiful. The night didn't get too cold, the days were bright and sunny and warm with a cool breeze. Ella did great, except for a two hour awake time as the sun was rising! But we all eventually fell back to sleep and slept in late. Camping breakfasts are so fun. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc. Yum. Now we're cleaning up though. Okay, okay... Carolyn (Aaron's mom) is giving Ella a bath, Aaron's setting up the tent again to let it dry out from some dew it collected this morning, and I'm typing away at my blog. He he.

Our dog, Annie, is becoming a concern to us. It's a long story, and I feel I should write more about this in a separate post, but for now I will say she's been barking at people more and more and it's a great annoyance. There's a difference between a 20 pound poodle yipping when someone walks in the door, and a 75 pound lab raising her hair and lunging at you when you walk by her at a park. (Our dog would be the latter.) I have a hard time right now doing much of anything that would possibly toss our family routine around any more than it already has been, but Aaron's sometimes feeling we should consider giving her away to someone who can handle a dog that is becoming aggressive toward people. She could probably live a happy life in someone's large acreage somewhere... but I have this feeling of loyalty to her and it upsets me to imagine handing her off until we find the pet that's perfect for us. I know it's not like she's our child... but I would hate, hate, HATE for Ella to lose one more element of continuity and security in her life right now. She's having a blast going all over the place seeing Grandparents left and right, but she loves her dog and I can't bear the thought of explaining her absence if we were to give her away. And yet... if she were to bite someone... I would never forgive myself. Especially after my own experiences with dog attacks. I have scars, you all remember!

Alas, that is enough. I will write more later. Who has any advise or feelings about our dog? Can everyone forgive my lack of photos for this post? I would really like to post some photos (heaven knows we've got enough!) but we have yet to find our cable/cord/thingy that downloads photos to our laptop from our digital.

Much love, much peace to you all...

The Joys and Sorrows of leaving...

2006-05-31T17:10:00.000-07:00

I have no picture to attach here because we have misplaced our camera. It's possible it's lost, but I'm not willing to admit this yet. I will not be happy if it's gone. The reason it's gone missing is probably due to the moving boxes all over our house. We are finally moving back to the Northwest. Now that Aaron has graduated, and we have accepted a job in Longview, Washington, we'll actually be back where we came from. It's amazing how most of me wants to move and return home to my roots--Columbia, Vancouver, Portland, Cascade, etc. And yet a large part of me, wants to hold still and enjoy life here until it there's no life left for us here any longer. I feel so sad about leaving our church in Sidney. I cry if I think too hard just about the way our house looks in the summer time out there. But it's not our house anymore. It never really was--just the parsonage--but it was a special place. Ella learned to crawl, walk, talk, etc. there. And life was simpler out there in the country. I now know the appeal of living a bit separated from all the hubbub of city life. But still, here comes the other side of me--I love the city life... mostly the suburban life, really. I'm torn between several worlds it feels, and all seem right. This is a predicament not all people find themselves in. And I am not complaining; I'm just weighing the pros and cons of the changes of life.

I am going to miss the Ries's. I'm going to miss Jen. What a friend to watch my daughter while I've been packing boxes even while she's got all her own kids to juggle. And Aaron's going to miss his buddies. He's missed so many for so long that are all in the Northwest, so there is much joy in returning there. But it's hard to say goodbye to Darren and Ben and the Love's, etc. And though I'm not close to one particularly person, there are lots of girls I will miss here. Mostly I'll miss my church family in Sidney.

It's our last Sunday this weekend. Aaron's preaching from II Timothy and having some of the guys read the text piece by piece from the pews. It's Aaron's way of showing Sidney how they are like Paul to us. And we are like Timothy--a young minister who has by no means become lazy in ministry or lost from what is most important, but a young minister who simply needs a push, some encouragement, a reminder of what he has learned so that he might be renewed as he continues to work elsewhere in the world. And it's true. Sidney has been our Paul, training us to be so much more than we thought we were going to be. And they did it by the example of how they live, love one another, pray for people, provide for the needy, and remain faithful and steadfast in their commitment to Christ.

Moving is bittersweet. It's agonizing. It's exhilerating. It's tiring. Ella keeps me on my best behavior though. No breaking down, no worrying about things that won't be better by worrying. I try to be brave for her. And yet, I am honest and tell her that I'm very sad to leave our friends. She has become sad too, and a little insecure about WHO is moving... we assure her it's Daddy and Mommy and our pets too, and all her very special toys and dolls, etc. She tries to add, "And Isabel and Aiden and Emma too!" And we have to tell her the truth. No, not Izzy. Not Aiden. Not Emma. Just us. I wish the world were smaller.

2006-05-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

He did it! My husband graduated from graduate school! He didn't go to his college graduation, so this was a great day to celebrate the last eight years he's spent in Abilene at ACU. He now has his Bachelor's and Master of Divinity. I'm SUPER proud of him, and I'm relieved that he's done. We're finally not going to be poverty stricken students with kids and food stamps and medicaid and debt... well theoretically. We shall see.

The day was great, Aaron's parents came into town and his sister, Megan, was there finishing her freshman year. My mom came to town too and we all had a great time. Lots of great pictures. The Ries's were all there too, and we all had fun grilling out for dinner afterwards. And the Love's had a nice blessing/party time afterwards at their house for Aaron and other graduates.

We can't believe we'll be leaving soon... just a couple of weeks! Man, it'll feel like a permanant vacation just being out of Texas and in the Northwest.

Picture of me and family

2006-05-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

this is me, and this is my family

No Night Night

2006-05-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

My daughter doesn't like to stay in bed. Some nights are perfect... but they are few and far between all of the other nights that are pretty ridiculous. She just gets out of her bed and walks into the dark hallway and sits down. She doesn't come out to get anyone, or even watch TV or anything. She just sits in the hallway. We spank her, we take away her teddy and blanket and pacifier, we offer rewards if she stays in bed, we rejoice with her in the morning if she is successful... but nothing makes her stay there consistently. I want her to be in bed and stay there by the time we have a new baby in the house in September. Is this too much to ask for a toddler?

Chelan's Killer Blogspot

Summer time...

phew!!!!!!!!

Camera Kidnapping

With or Without You

Pumpkin Patch 2009

Jog-a-Thon

Class of '22

CNA Training

Dahlia Carolyn Webster (my new niece)

The Babes of Bristol 203

Photography

Hooray for Schedules!

Order, Discipline, Purpose

Sauvie Island

Animation

Giraffe Love

Ron Stump

This and That

RemarkableTribute

Dr. King

Style

More Snow!

Truth and Lies in the Snow

Five Years

Chores

Two years ago

Preschool and other things

"Labor Day" Weekend

New Beginnings

T-Ball Season

With Gratitude...

Memorial Service

"It's Okay..."

Recommended Reading

Holding Hands

"Hat!"

Funny Faces

You Can Only Imagine

Daddy-Daughter Ball

Tag, I'm It

Hi Bunny! Hi Linzie!

First Words

Something Special

Genetics

Clay

When You're the Best of Friends...

My Christmas Summary, Condensed

Until Next Time...

Happy Birthday!

Moving

WHACK!

Blue

We're Melting

Happy Happilene!

Good Girl

V is for...

Happy First Birthday Miles!

Flight of the Conchords - Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros

Ella and Grandpa at the water

Back in the Basket KITTY!

Our new puppy Annie (two and a half years ago)

Ellla at 18 months...

Pre Preschool

The Office

Mmmmmmm...

Bunny Visits The Great Northwest

Four Long Months

The New Ella

Family

Aaahhh, Easter...

They LOOK like sweet little angels...

Where's Adam?

Sugar Pop

more pics for fun

He's Here!

The Closest Bidder, Without Going Over...

Moving

My many mistakes

Miss you Jen!